If I was Sailor Moon
by RinMinigawa
Summary: Reality gets a little too real sometimes. What happens when a woman in an abusive relationship escapes reality and becomes Sailor Moon?
1. Chapter 1

It is my understanding that the fanfiction community in general, not just this site, but worldwide tends to frown on self-inserts. This helped me get through a tough time a few years ago so I thought I'd share it.

Chapter One:

"You are so stupid!" His bad breath washed over me as I felt his spit splatter against my face. He jabbed his finger at me and was standing far too close, yelling at the top of his lungs. "Listen here you bitch, you are a worthless piece of shit, you're lucky I don't drag you out of here by your hair and beat some sense into you!"

I was cowering in the corner of my bedroom looking terrified and shrinking away, wishing I could melt into the walls behind me. The man yelling at me was my fiancé. He was furious because he thought I had forgotten to feed our one year old daughter. Regardless, she was happily sleeping in her crib and I was getting ready for bed when he asked me when she'd eaten last. I couldn't remember fast enough and he had come to the conclusion that I was starving our daughter.

"You know what? C'mere!" he shouted, grabbing my arm and throwing me toward the bedroom door. I stumbled away from him down the hallway, and he was already too close again, he pushed me. I tried to catch my balance, but I tripped over my too-long Mario themed pajama bottoms and crashed to the ground. I tried to scoot away, but he was already on top of me. He grabbed me by the elbow and ripped me up, grabbing me hard by my arms; I knew there would be bruises. I was so terrified I started screaming hysterically, bracing myself for the feeling of fists, waiting to feel my body start to break under his blows. He'd never hit me before, though calling me names and belittling me like this was nothing new, nor was the way he screamed and spat at me.

Instead of attacking me further, he pushed me up against the kitchen sink, looking at me like I was a lunatic while I screamed. I ceased my wild shrieks and broke into fearful sobs. I couldn't hear what he was saying over my beating heart, but the next thing I knew he was declaring that we were breaking up.

Yes. I thought. Thank God. Yes. Please leave me.

But my next words didn't follow that logic. Instead I heard myself telling him I'd be better, that we weren't breaking up. I'd be a better mother and a better person and try harder to remember things. I took him to my room and we made love. Though I felt there was no real love to make anymore. I wept, not because I was sorry, and not because I loved him or felt relieved. I wept because I was betraying myself. I was choosing to stay with this abusive man. I wasn't allowed to sleep until nearly four in the morning; I was to be at work at 7:45. I went to bed feeling empty and broken; closing my eyes to precious darkness.

So quiet, peaceful. Suddenly there were stars. I was drifting quietly through a starry night sky, I passed celestial giants, planets, supernovas. The whole universe was before me. Then, someone was running. A princess, I could see her white gown, her long hair. I couldn't see her face, and yet I marveled at her beauty. I thought I heard screams and smelled smoke in the distance, and she was running toward someone I couldn't see. She called out something, but I couldn't hear her. Her voice was the muffled chime of a bell. I heard it again, clearer now.

"Usagi!"

I jolted awake. I was late! I had overslept! Why hadn't my alarm gone off? Morning light poured into the room, it had to be at least 8 o'clock. I tore myself out of bed and then froze. This wasn't my room.

I turned as my gaze settled upon a familiar comforter decorated with bunnies and crescent moons, then drifted to the cute alarm clock, the desk, the closet. The room was neat and smelled sweet. I walked to the window and looked out, spotting a mountain in the distance. I had only seen pictures of this particular mountain, but it was unmistakable. I was looking at Mt. Fuji. I was in Japan?

"Usagi, wake up!" I heard a woman's voice call from downstairs, the same voice that had woke me from my dream. Usagi? I knew that name. I ran to the vanity and looked in the mirror, unable to stop the shrieking gasp that came from my mouth. My skin was perfect, porcelain, not a single pimple or pour in sight. My short, wavy brown hair was soft, long and blonde, decorated with bows and pulled up in perfect odango pigtails. And my eyes, my hazel green eyes were now a wide sparkling deep blue. I was, or at least I looked like fourteen year old Tsukino, Usagi. Could this be real? Had I woken up inside an anime? I pinched myself, and it hurt. Stunned my mind went blank.

Almost immediately I thought of my daughter. Where was she? If this was real and I was here, was my baby waking up to an angry father and a missing mother? Or maybe the real Usagi was waking up in my nightmare? My heart broke for that. If he was frustrated enough with me he'd really be frustrated with Usagi. It was impossible for me to know what was going on or how life was unfolding back in my reality.

I looked down at myself, I was wearing my tank top and my too-long Mario pants. My arms were still throbbing with bruises. Last night had still happened. Was I dead? Was I in a coma? Suddenly I realized just how long my legs were as well as a few other things about Usagi's physical form. Not only was I taller and my skin lighter, the rest of me was smooth too, a little too perfect.

Now, I've always been thin, so the transition to a teenage anime body was not hard to get used to…but it was the new and unfamiliar weight of a couple of things on my chest that had me gaping. All my life I'd been flat, a AA at best. Usagi was at least a C cup and as if in a trance, I wondrously I poked one of my new breasts. Soft. Real. I squeaked and flailed, spinning around and accidentally turning back to the mirror to see Usagi's likeness staring at me in complete shock while still managing to look flawlessly pretty. So this was what it was like to be a real-life anime girl.

"Usagi!" called the voice again.

"Uh…Okay!" I said meekly, my voice was shy, but also…Japanese? I spoke Japanese? Sure I knew a few words and phrases, and my thoughts were in English, but my voice was coming out in Japanese. This was a lot to take in. Maybe I should stay in today?

What episode was I in? Judging by my dream, this was the first episode, but was I in the manga or the anime? Maybe I was in the reboot? Regardless, I knew what was supposed to happen next. I was, or rather Usagi would get ready, get her lunch and rush out the door. Should I act the part? Nothing was happening with my just standing around looking surprised. So I turned to her closet and opened it. There, her middle-school uniform hung waiting. I took off my clothes and folded them, neatly placing them on the floor in the back corner of the closet. They, and my pentagram necklace were the only things from my world I had left. I hadn't worn a bra to bed in my world, even so it would have been too small for me now. So I turned to Usagi's dresser, curious and embarrassed I looked for the proper garment. I found a selection of frilly white anime bras. At least it was nothing too over-the-top, this was Sailor Moon after all. But somehow it was a little too real just then. I couldn't help but stop to look at myself, feeling like a pervert for knowing this was Usagi's body, but I was currently the one living in it and had never had normal sized breasts before. It was a strange sort of selfish satisfaction to see that a bra fit me properly. In fact, seeing the bra fit perfectly, literally as if it was drawn on, pun intended, and I felt my heart beating faster with sheer giddy delight. Usagi had a cute selection of anime undies, but I decided to keep my own on and instead picked out a pair of white socks.

Weird that I actually had to think about these sort of things, even as my daughter flashed through my mind once more. Last night I was a 24 year old mother in an abusive relationship and suddenly now I was anime girl 14 year old Tsukino, Usagi, who was also the superhero Sailor Moon.

I tried on the uniform, it was weird that the shirt was a little short, I felt like if I lifted my arms too high it would show my stomach. And the skirt sat too high, far up over my belly button, it was uncomfortable, but in the mirror it looked perfect. I took all the bows out of my hair and bushed the long pigtails. I didn't dare attempt to remove the odangos, no need to fix what didn't need fixing. No need for make-up either, or a shower for that matter. What was left to do, eat? Was there time? Probably not. Plus sitting around this weird house with Usagi's mother sounded uncomfortable to say the least. Better stick to the script.

I took a deep breath and opened her door, tentatively I stooped to pick up the school bag resting by the door and walked out into the hall. A few steps away way was the stairway, so I approached them and began to descend. Suddenly I lost my footing on the smooth wood flooring and slipped, landing on my butt and falling down the stairs. In reality, this would hurt a lot. But while I was reeling by the time I hit the bottom, the pain was hardly registering. Not nearly the way my arms still hurt, and I was thankful this outfit was long sleeved. I stood up and looked for the kitchen, rubbing my rump.

There was the aqua-haired woman sitting at the table reading. Her back was to me and she didn't look up. I knew what happened in the anime, Usagi ran in scolding her mother for not waking her sooner, got her lunch and ran out again. I could see the small bento waiting on the table in front of her mother but was apprehensive about getting it. Wouldn't a normal person rush in and start asking her what was going on? If things played out like any movie I'd ever seen where this sort of thing happened, she'd either turn into a monster or act like I was crazy. Neither seemed appealing. So instead I quietly rushed in, head bowed.

"Th-thank you for lunch!" I said quietly and rushed back out, my words flowing out in flawless Japanese. I quickly pushed myself toward what I thought was the front door and stopped again. I didn't know how to get to school, I didn't even know if any of this was real. Maybe the whole world would disappear. Maybe I'd wake up in the real world all of the sudden, maybe I'd simply open the door and walk into Mordor, the possibilities were endless.

"Be careful!" Called Usagi's mother.

"Hai!" I called, relieved she hadn't seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary, and then after a moment, "Um…how do I get to school from here?"

"Don't be silly Usagi, I'm not falling for that. Now go to school or you'll be late!"

I'm already going to be late, I thought. Still, I figured it was best not to push, hopefully I'd see someone else in a familiar uniform and just follow them. I put on Usagi's shoes and slipped out the door.

Well, there I was, I was still in Japan. Still in the dream, or whatever it was. Yeah. It had to be a dream, possibly the most realistic dream ever. So I chose a random direction and started walking. I knew that the next milestone of this episode was seeing Luna for the first time. I knew I'd be going the right way if I saw her, she'd either be being attacked by children, or laying on the side walk waiting to be stepped on by a hurried Usagi. Either way, if I found her, I knew I'd be on the right way to school.

As I walked, I took a moment to explore my feelings. It was strange, going back to middle school. I was past all the immaturity, the stereotypes, the bullying. I was a grown-up for the most part, being ruled by parents and teachers was a thing of my past. Then again, this was an anime school, not a real school. Real problems and cliques probably weren't going to be something I'd have to worry about. Suddenly something squished under my foot and I gasped, jumping back-rather than falling on my face.

"Luna!" I exclaimed as I recognized the black cat at my feet. I fell to my knees and picked her up, holding her at arms-length. "Please don't scratch me!" I said, know that if I was living in the Sailor Moon Crystal version of the story, the next thing she would do would be to scratch my face. Anime or not, that would hurt a lot. She looked at me curiously and then proceeded to claw at the band-aids on her head.

"Right," I said, and peeled them off, smiling to see the familiar crescent mark. She then jumped on my head and up onto the half-wall bordering the side walk. She eyed me with a stunned and curious expression. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a group of girls across the street wearing the same uniform as me.

"Find me later!" I called to her as I took off after them, knowing she would. If anyone knew anything, Luna surely would! She could tell me what was going on! But right now, things had to go in order if I was to get anywhere. Doing my own things would make the future too unpredictable, in more ways than one. It was best to do things right.

So I arrived at Juban Middle School and my feet suddenly seemed to know where to go, leading me to Usagi's first period English class. I knew I'd be made to stand in the hall for being late, and I knew there would be a test with Usagi's name and a large red 30 percent drawn on its top corner. I pulled open the door to the class and was not surprised when I was redirected to stand in the hall, just as predicted.

My stomach growled, it was amazing how hungry I really was. No wonder Usagi had given in and decided to eat her lunch. Instead, I slumped against the wall and pulled a long pigtail over my shoulder, running the strands through my fingers. My hair was so incredibly soft, and I paused to examine my nails, they were perfect and looked manicured, funny how things could look both animated and real at the same time, like those beautiful Final Fantasy graphics.

I thought of my daughter. Would I ever see her again? Maybe she would appear in this world with me somewhere? None of the characters I could imagine from the show were young enough to be her, not even Chibi-usa. I felt tears sting in my eyes and I clutched my pentacle through the fabric of my shirt.

Suddenly the classroom door slammed open and I stood straight, turning to see the familiar failed test in front of me.

"Tsukino-san, what were-eh," The sensei stopped short, eyeing my expression, "you don't have to look so depressed. Maybe if you didn't sleep so much you'd get better grades. Look at this!" she said, pointing to the score.

"I'm sorry Sakurada-Sensei. I'll try harder next time." I said with a bow. She looked surprised for a moment and then thrust the paper at me. I took it and was invited back in for class. Since I was thinking in English, surely it would be easy enough to fix Usagi's bad English grade. I surprised the sensei several more times throughout class and made a few students whisper about me. After that I figured it was best to stop showing off and blend in. Then it was time for lunch break where I pulled out the tiny bento to eat.

"Usagi-chan, late again? Really?" I looked up to spot a familiar red head. It was Naru. "At least you didn't sneak your lunch again in the hall."

"Uh…yeah." I answered. Her face looked worried.

"How was your exam Usagi-san?" asked another familiar face, the nerdy looking Umino, if his spiral-eye glasses were weird enough as a cartoon, they were really weird in this surreal world, "I didn't prepare much this time but…" he raised the test with it's bright red 95 percent score at the top looking both smug and embarrassed at once.

"I'll do better next time." I answered, popping a bit of whatever-it-was into my mouth from my lunch. It was good.

"Exams are like games to me," he responded, ignoring my comment,

"Games?" asked Naru, "You're really annoying." She said tossing up her hands and walking away to her desk, "I can't believe he scored more than me." From my desk, I could see she had gotten an 85 on her test. Not knowing what else to say I finished my lunch and suddenly Naru returned to my side, holding her bag.

"Want to go get some juice and head outside for a break?"

"Sure," I said, packing up. I followed her, watched her obtain a box of orange juice from a vending machine and proceeded to copy her and then we met up with a few other girls outside. They started talking and I focused on the juice. I was full, the juice was sweet, just like you'd expect. This was still far too real to be a dream.

"By the way, have you heard about the robbery at the jewelry shop?" said a girl with long black hair to the rest of us, "So many crimes these days."

I had to suppress a sarcastic grin, depending on how long this dream lasted, there'd be a lot of crime and other weird things going on around here.

"That's terrifying," Naru answered.

"But Sailor V caught all the robbers," chimed Umino.

I knew who Sailor V was. In the episode, I remembered that Usagi didn't. I knew that my next line would be to feign ignorance, but I stayed quiet.

"Some say she's a police officer in disguise," he added naturally, as if he hadn't expected anyone to question him.

"I can relate to the robbers a bit," answered the dark-haired girl.

"I know right?" said a short-haired brunette next to me, "Jewelry is shiny and gorgeous!"

I smiled, feeling I should say something,  
"Naru-chan's family runs a jewelry shop, in fact, I think they are having a big sale right now." I said, looking at her.

"Really?" answered the brunette.

"Uh, Yeah," she nodded, smiling, "But, how did you know that Usagi-chan? I haven't said anything."

"Um..I saw it in an advertisement." I lied. The girl seemed to accept that however.

"I'll have to drop by later then," said the long haired girl.

"I know I'll be there!" I said, a little too excited, but no one seemed to find it out of character. I'd have to fight a monster there. But first I'd have to become Sailor Moon, and before even that, I'd have to talk to Luna. Surely she'd know something about getting back home. Not that I wanted my old life and boring imperfect human body back, but I did want my daughter.

After school the four of us followed Naru to the Osa*P jewelry store. I let the other girls fawn over the jewels in the window and then followed them inside. I couldn't help giving her mother a stern look, was she a monster yet? Probably. She stared at me an extra second before greeting Naru.  
"Are these your friends?"

"Yes," answered Naru.

"It's crowded, but see if you can find something you like," she said to us, "I'll give you a special discount!"

"Really?" said the black haired girl who took off with the other unnamed brunette toward the jewels. I wasn't going to stick around. I knew all the jewels were cursed. And even if they weren't, I knew I didn't have enough money for anything. I was lucky bum a few yen off of Naru for the juice box earlier.

"We never have sales like this," said Naru to me, looking worried, "I wonder what my mom is thinking."

I watched her mother directing the crowd, even as she paused to grin darkly. Monster for sure, but there was nothing I could do about it now. I walked back outside and turned to make my way to the arcade. I didn't know how to get home anyway from here, or anywhere else in town, but that had to be close by, right?

I walked a few steps and crashed into a familiar tuxedo-clad man. "Hey, you ran into me bump-head, are you trying to give me bumps too?" He said.

I stared up at him, as an anime character, I always thought he was kind of cute, but this was something else. He looked exactly the way any fan girl would expect he would look if he were real. I couldn't say anything, just stare. So this was Mamoru. And I hadn't thrown my test at him to get his attention. If I hadn't turned the wrong way out of Osa*P, I might have forgotten about meeting him all together at this part. With this morning, and the violent events of my lover from last night, I couldn't think about having a crush. Who knew how long this would last anyway? Suddenly I remembered that now that I was Usagi, it meant I was a virgin again too. I'd never had sex, nor had I ever given birth to my daughter. I realized suddenly that the stretch marks that had faded so nicely on my real body were utterly absent beneath my uniform.

My face flushed red and I forced myself to utter, "They aren't bumps." Gathering the courage to look him in the eye, a thing I found really difficult to do with my fiancé back in reality, I watched his expression change and his pupils shrink behind his sleek sun glasses. I couldn't move or think or do anything. I didn't know what to do. Did attraction work the same way here? How did I look to him? Did he know who I was? Frozen, it took some serious effort to force myself to walk past him feeling his eyes on my back as I walked on.

Heart pounding, I did was Usagi did. I hugged my bag to my chest and just followed the side-walk away from Osa-P toward the arcade. I spotted the Sailor V poster outside the shop and knew I was in the right place. I quickly disappeared inside. I didn't have any money to play anything, but I could still walk around.

Miraculously, though I shouldn't have been surprised, someone left some yen on top of one of the Sailor V games. So...of course I popped it into the machine as if it was mine and started to play. Maybe Motoki would know how I could get home.

I kept losing, not knowing how to play this Sailor V game at all. It wasn't long before he approached me and helped me win against the enemy. He smiled at me, and I opened my mouth to ask him for directions when he suddenly turned to look at something. I turned too, and there was Luna. I forgot she appeared here. Wonderful! Maybe she knew where Usagi's house was?

"Ah, this cat," said Motoki, "she's been wandering around these past few days."

"She's mine," I blurted out.

"What? And you let her walk around town?"

"Well, I…uh.." I wasn't sure what to say.

"I guess that makes sense," smiled the blonde older boy. He reminded me a little of my fiancé when he was younger, back before he turned into such a raging violent jerk. I felt myself rubbing the bruises on my arms through my sleeves. "You live nearby, still, you should be careful letting her out like that. The kids around here can be cruel."

"Ah, yeah…" I looked at the cat, who stared at me, "Well we'd better be going! Thanks for helping me with the game!"

"Sure!" He said as I got up and quickly grabbed Luna and made a quick exit.

"Don't say anything," I said quietly, walking outside and around the corner, trying to find somewhere private. Luna squirmed out of my arms until I was forced to drop her. She gave me an odd look and took off running. "Wait!" I called and ran after her. She disappeared around a corner and I stopped to catch my breath, looking up to see the very house I had left this morning with the name "Tsukino" written on the name plate by the front gate.

Well, I was right, this lead me home. It had been an entire day now in this fantasy world. What would my fiancé be doing right now? What about my daughter? I had no way to know, but I looked forward to finally getting to talk to Luna.

I walked in the door,

"I'm home?" I all but whispered. What if the real Usagi had come home first?

"Welcome home Usagi," answered her mother. "Umino stopped by a minute ago while I was sweeping the steps. He said he got a 95 on his test, what about you?" I didn't bother taking off my shoes. I knew what was coming.

"I got a thirty, but I'll do better next time," I said, not bothering to show her the test. I watched the rage boil in her eyes, and I she was shouting the famous 'don't come home!' line before I could do anything. Next thing I knew I was standing outside. I just sat down and tucked my knees up under my chin.

Then came Usagi's little brother, Shingo,

"You got kicked out again huh? I wish I had a smarter sister." He said, glaring and going inside. I rolled my eyes. Even if he wasn't really my brother, and even if this whole thing was a dream, that was still annoying.

I looked around, decided to try and sense the world as a real thing, really take it in. The air was scented as night air is. I could smell the warmth of the day fading from the concrete. There was no breeze and it was odd that I wasn't cold. In reality, as soon as the sun set, I was always cold. So for the outside temperature to be absolutely perfect was unusual, then again I really needed to stop comparing my experience to reality because there was nothing "usual" about this at all.

Eventually, her mother let me in.

Usagi would have taken a nap, but as I entered her room, the first thing I did was rush to the closet and fall to my knees. There, my clothes still lay neatly folded and waiting. I didn't know how to feel about that, relieved? Sad? Angry? Happy? I stared at them and after a moment, I sighed.

Standing I looked around her room. Everything was so organized and nice looking, curiously, I poked around her vanity. She had some makeup, bows, bobby pins, but why bother? Her face was already flawless, makeup might actually make it look weird rather than more beautiful. Blinking, I sat down at her desk, still holding her school bag and opened it. While Usagi took a nap instead of doing homework, there was no way I could sleep; not to mention back in my world, I was a college student and a very good one. I could easily do Usagi's homework. Piece of cake.

By the time I finished all of it, I hardly noticed a small black figure appear at the window, but when I did,

"LUNA!" I exclaimed, rushing to the bedside, "Luna, I've been wanting to talk to you all day!"  
She looked at me with both suspicion and curiosity,

"How do you know my name?" She asked.

I sighed,

"This is a long story, and it doesn't make any sense, but just hear me out. Yesterday I was a 24 year old mother in an abusive relationship. I got into a fight with my fiancé, and went to bed, look, I even have bruises!" I pulled up my sleeves to showed her the black and blue hand-shaped prints where he had grabbed my arms, "I had brown hair, and hazel eyes, and when I woke up this morning. I was Usagi! I don't how or why, but I was hoping you could help. I'm not the real Usagi, I don't belong here."

The cat looked thoughtful for a moment, she believed me, good.

"I've been tracking your energy for days, nothing has changed. Even if you are from another world, you are the one I've been searching for, and right now, you're the only one who can fight the evil in our world and find our princess. However, that still doesn't explain how you know who I am, or how you know who you are. If you are from another world, how would you know anything about being here?"

It occurred to me then that Luna didn't have all of her memories yet, she couldn't know everything about space and time travel. But part of what she said struck home. I have always been a believer, that things happen for a reason, and if you end up in a bad situation, it's because you are meant to learn something from that situation and nothing will change until that lesson is learned, not matter how hard you fight, or pray. So, if I was the only one who could save the princess, real Usagi or not, then nothing about being in this world was going to change until I learned whatever lesson I was meant to learn by being here, by being Usagi Tsukino, Sailor Moon, Guardian of love and justice.

"In my world," I began slowly, thinking of how to answer, "This story, the story of Sailor Moon and the senshi are told in manga and anime, there's even a version that was done as a live-action television series. I know how the story goes, I know what happens for the most part. But recently, they came out with a new version of the anime, and I think we are living that version, so I'm not sure how everything goes. But I know you're about to give me broach or a compact that will allow me to transform into Sailor Moon, and I know who the other senshi are, and I also know that right now, my friend Naru is in danger and we have to go save her. And…I know that Usagi...me, that I am the-" I stopped there, if I told her Usagi was the princess, I'd have no way to prove it, not to mention I didn't know how to become the princess or if I would even be able to transform into Sailor Moon. "The main character…" I finished lamely.

Luna nodded, considering all I had said,

"In that case, there's no time to lose. Take the broach,"

The crescent shape on her forehead began to glow, and then before her in a sparkling glimmer appeared the compact. Now, whenever I had seen this particular prop for a cosplay, it always looked like a toy, a big plastic, bulky toy; but this actually looked valuable, engraved gold with real jewels. I picked it up and it felt magnetic, as if it were vibrating ever so very slightly with an energy I could just barely sense. I realized the magnitude of what was about to happen. Either nothing would happen, or I was about to know what it was like to transform into a magical girl, into Sailor Moon!

"Repeat after me, Moon-"

"I know what to say," I said, interrupting her, "I just need a minute," I was breathless, staring at the thing, trying to swallow back the nervousness and excitement. Finally, I took a deep breath, thrust it into the air and said the magic words,

"Moon Prism Power, Make Up!"

All at once I felt like I was swept up in a dream. I was filled with a feeling somewhere between what it's like when you're about to be kissed by your crush and going over the first hill of a roller coaster. The soft angel-feather touch of the ribbons that solidified into the tight fit of the leotard, the burst of her bow, the caresses of the ribbons that became boots and gloves, the choker, the hair accessories, the ear rings and the tiara, and the skirt. As the transformation finished, it was similar to the feeling of getting out of a warm bath, the last rush of hot water falling from your skin. And there I was, my room filled with sparkling mist that faded quickly.

I had to catch my breath and look in the mirror.

To say I looked like the perfect cosplay would be an insult, this was pure magic. I blinked and then gave myself a serious look, I heard Naru's call for help, turned to Luna and said,

"Let's go."

I approached the window, time to practice those impressive anime-jumping skills. I hesitated at the height, but gathered my courage and leapt to land painlessly crouched on the ground. I began to sort of think of myself as Homura from Madoka Magica, acting all serious but also really powerful; I took off running, remembering the way to Osa*P.

I burst in the door, my tiara already in my hand and charged. I saw Naru fall out from a doorway inside with the monster closing in.

"Moon Tiara Action!" I shouted, tossing the thing. The enemy shattered before she even knew what hit her. Naru stared from the pile of ash to me and back again,

"Who-?" She said,

I smiled, knowing what I got to say and the pose I got to strike,

"I am the pretty guardian of love and justice, Sailor Moon! And in the name of the moon, I shall punish all evil!" –So it wasn't exact, and the villain had no idea who I was before she died, but I wasn't about to get chased by zombies around the room and cry like a baby before doing anything. Naru nodded and then fainted.

Luna looked at me, stunned that it was over so quickly. "So you already know how to use the tiara. There is more to you than meets the eye Sailor Moon."

My mouth opened to correct her with my real name, but then I just smiled. "Her mother is tied up in the basement, I should free her,"

"I didn't find what I came for, but I found something much more interesting," said the voice of Tuxedo Mask.

Feeling cocky, I followed him outside and shouted after him, "We will meet again Tuxedo Mask!" He looked at me for a moment and then disappeared into the night.

I ran back inside and found Naru's mother unconscious in the basement, I untied her and her eyelids fluttered. I quickly made my exit, leaving them both there.

Back at Usagi's house, I used the anime-jump to get back into her room. I wasn't sure how to change back, so I just touched the pendant and focused on letting go of the transformation. The lovely warm rush of excitement and feather-soft ribbons enveloped me and vanished, leaving me in Usagi's school uniform once more.

What an adventure.

I set Usagi's alarm extra early, changed into her Pjs and went to sleep, wondering if this would all disappear when I woke.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

The next morning her alarm went off and I was able to pull myself out of bed. While I was tired, the feeling of groggy tiredness was not nearly as strong as it was in reality. I didn't even feel like I needed coffee, which was astounding as I hadn't have a coffee-free morning since I was pregnant with my daughter. With a sigh, I made my way to the bathroom, taking several wrong turns into Shigo's room and then her parent's room.

I ran the bathwater and took out her Odangos, making careful note of how the hairstyle was undone in the hopes I could achieve it once more. I washed my hair first, then soaked in the bath. It was early enough, there was plenty of time. I tried not to think about home, about my baby, and the jerk she was with. I wondered if maybe there was a copy of me there, going through the motions as I would normally, maybe it was as if nothing had changed back home.

Bath finished, I dried her hair, which normally would have taken a lifetime with how long and thick it was, but it dried in minutes and thankfully put back in its Odango shape without much trouble. I carried the Pjs back to her room, pink towel wrapped around me.

I was used to wearing clothes many times, being too poor to clean them regularly, I had a trick of leaving them to air out all day so they didn't smell, unless I had really sweated in them. Now, my underwear I had worn from reality until now smelled like dirty laundry, but the Pjs still smelled sweet. My best guess was that body odor was something that had to be written into a character otherwise they would generally smell clean and good. So I put the still-clean pjs away, and hid the underwear among my other clothes from my reality.

Now to choose clean clothes from Usagi's dresser and her uniform, then I headed downstairs for breakfast. Everyone was still asleep so I began the search for food. I knew enough about cooking to make some scrambled eggs and toast with a glass of milk, and instead of a fancy bento, just some fancy-cut sandwiches with salad. Luckily Usagi's mother was so organized, I found everything easily.

I had my lunch ready and was just sitting down to eat breakfast when Usagi's mother wandered in; she was startled to see me,

"Usagi-chan! You're up early," she commented in astonishment, "made yourself breakfast and lunch and even washed the dishes!" She stared at the freshly washed pan I had used to cook the eggs. "I'm in shock! Are you feeling okay?"

Just then Shingo walked in,

"What's the matter?" he asked snidely when he saw me, "Forget to set your alarm so you stayed up all night?" I just stuck my tongue out at him, and he mirrored the action, making himself some toast.

I ate quickly as her mother began to thumb through the morning newspaper, washed my breakfast dishes and went to the door,

"I'll be going now," I said, slipping on her shoes, picking up her bags, and walking out to see Luna waiting for me and she walked with me.

Smiling and feeling accomplished, I couldn't wait to stun the teacher with completed homework and an early-show to class. I didn't normally like being a show-off, in reality, I was just as lazy as Usagi, but here in the world of Sailor Moon, I had more energy and wanted to use it to my advantage.

Sure enough the sensei was surprised to see me, even more surprised when I handed her my completed homework and in English said, "Good Morning Miss Sakurada Sensei. It's good to see you," And took my seat. She gaped at me a moment, looked over the paperwork,

"Now that's what I like to see Tsukino-san! Some effort! Keep this up and you just might pass the big test!"

Right. I remembered that soon there would be some big test, the scores would show and Ami would have the best score in the school; we would meet the next senshi. I glanced around as the classroom began to fill, some of the students noticed me and whispered to each other. Naru entered, saw me and looked absolutely shocked.

Class began and by lunch hour, I could tell she was dying to tell everyone what happened. Her version of the story said there was a robber and someone named Sailor Moon had saved her and her mom, but she couldn't remember if it was a dream or not because she had fainted. They were filing a police report, but nothing seemed stolen and there were no signs of foul play. I just smiled and let the rest of the day pass.

Unlike the original anime where several more antics and baddies appeared all the time, the next week passed in easy quietness. No monsters, nothing. I kept an eye out for Ami, but could never find the proper opportunity to talk to her. She was always too far ahead of me in the hall, and I would lose her in the crowd, or I would spot her reading, but get pulled away by a teacher or friend. Eventually I gave up trying to contact her sooner than intended.

On a day off from school, Naru invited me out to lunch and then out for some Kareoke. I agreed and had a lot of fun. She was a really good person, kind and funny. I hadn't been allowed to have friends like this or to go out and have fun at all since I had chosen to date that guy back home. We went back to her house for dinner and finished the night talking and laughing in her room. I suddenly felt so free. But around 9 o'clock, I reluctantly excused myself to go home. With school being the next day, I told her I wanted to study and get there on time for the big exam. In reality, I knew I'd stay there chatting all night, or maybe I'd tell her the truth if I didn't leave right away. I decided that Naru really was a treasure worth protecting, even if she was just a side character, she was the first person I really was able to call my friend in person, even if the honor of her friendship technically belonged to Usagi and not me.

I took the test, it was surprisingly hard, even with my college experience, it was still rather difficult, the next day I was really surprised (and so were many other people) to see my name ranked number 5 in the school. Then, just as expected, there was Ami's name at the top. Naru gave me a big hug,

"Usagi-chan! You did even better than me! Look, I'm number 7! Congratulations, your hard work paid off!"

I hugged her back, "No, no, congrats to you! That's a big achievement, your mother will be so proud!"

"Yours too!' I said,

"We should go get ice-cream and celebrate!" She exclaimed

I gasped, "We should!"

"Did you attend the Crystal seminar?" I heard Umino chime.

Ah right, that's my next target.

"Hm-mn," I said shaking my head, "just studied really hard."

"I heard Mizuno-san was scouted to be a student there," he replied.

"She still studies while her scores are perfect on her exams?" asked the nameless short-haired brunette friend. I decided I really needed to ask her name. I wondered if some of the random "extra" characters nearby really had names and personalities aside from on screen characters.

Usagi was supposed to ask about the location of this seminar, I couldn't remember and hadn't been by the arcade since the day I first awoke into this world, maybe it appeared somewhere else?

"Where is this Crystal Seminar?" I asked anyway, knowing I would have to go there.

"By the arcade," answered Umino, "It's expensive to go there, but her mother is a Doctor."

"She is a genius and her family is rich," interjected the friend with long dark hair, "I envy her."

"But she looks too cool and acts kind of unfriendly." Said the short haired friend.

"I've never seen her with any friends," added Naru. I didn't have anything to say. We all filed into a line where we could get a print-off of our scores and it was time to leave.

After school, I stopped Naru,

"Hey, instead of ice cream, why don't we go to the arcade? I want to bring Ami with us."

"Eh? That really smart girl?"

"Yeah, I mean, I heard she has no friends, so we should bring her. She deserves to celebrate too."

I knew we'd have to go to the arcade in order for Luna to slip us our transformation pens, but I got so caught up in finally having a best friend that I forgot the whole reason I was here. I didn't want to blow her off.

We were walking together when I spotted Luna and Ami.

"Hey it's that girl," said Naru, "the genius from class 5. Now's your chance, go see if she wants to come!"

"Hai!" I answered and walked over to her.

"You're so fluffy," said Ami, talking to Luna.

"Hello!" I greeted cheerfully, forgetting who I was, "Um…how are you?" I asked.

"You are?" responded Ami, looking a little flustered.

"Ah, I mean, that's my cat," I said, "I hope she didn't startle you."

"Not at all! She suddenly came down from the sky!" answered the bluenette, "I thought she was an angel."

I just smiled, and Ami seemed to get embarrassed anyway. "What am I talking about," she said, "I'm sorry," She offered Luna back to me, looking adorably ashamed.

"It's alright," I said, reaching to take Luna. My hands brushed against hers, it was like electricity. She startled and looked at me. I wanted to tell her I knew what she saw, the palace at the moon kingdom, but it wouldn't seem to fit if I said so just then.

I couldn't help sharing Usagi's opinion of her, she was just adorable.

"You're Mizuno-san from class 5 right? I'm Usagi Tsukino from class one, and this is Luna,"  
"And I'm Naru Osaka, also from class one," chimed my red headed friend, suddenly beside us, "Usagi, I didn't know you had a cat."

"Ah, yeah, she followed me home last week, so I've been taking care of her. Anyway, Mizuno-san, we were wondering if you'd like to go with us to the arcade, to celebrate our high scores!"

She looked perplexed, but still happy. No one had ever invited her anywhere for anything other than to a school to study, had they?

She agreed.

Next thing I knew I was at the controls of the Sailor V game once more, it wasn't so hard, but the controls were definitely not like anything I was used to and I lost. I sighed, and Motoki appeared,

"Hi Usagi-chan," he greeted,

"Hi Motoki," I answered, smiling. Realizing I was acting a little too easygoing.

"Your friend?"

"My name is Ami Mizuno, nice to meet you," bowed Ami.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Motoki Furuhara." He answered.

"You should try this," I said to the bluenette, and stood up from the seat.

So she did, and she was good, attracting the attention of others in the arcade, I rooted her along awkwardly, but happily, as did Naru. When Ami won the battle against the dragon boss, I couldn't help copying Usagi's congratulatory hug.

"Mizuno-san I knew you'd be good at this! You're amazing!"

-click-

The prize dropped out of the game machine.

"It's a beautiful pen!" she exclaimed after examining it. It was then it occurred to me I'd have to act like Usagi in order to get mine, there's no way I could get a high score like Naru's. Why couldn't Luna have just given me the pen earlier?

"Er, I want one too!" I said, hitting the machine awkwardly, I wasn't used to acting immature like this.

"Usgai-chan.." commented Motoki, trying to tell me I should stop, but thankfully the pen appeared and I took it.

"Ah," was all I could manage before I blushed deeply at acting like a fool. Motoki laughed, I assumed he thought my expression was cute.

"You can have it, don't worry, just don't hit the game again?" I smiled.

"You are too funny Tsukino-san," said Ami while Naru giggled.

"Heh," I could feel my face was still hot, "you look pretty when you smile Ami-chan," I said. Not that I didn't think she really was cute, but the compliment felt like I was flirting with her. It felt wrong, not wrong as in some moral argument about sexuality, but because in my relationship with my jerk fiancé, flirting had serious repercussions involving a lot of shouting, suspicion and ultimately being forbidden to see the person ever again.

The girl startled again,

"Sorry, I called you Ami-chan, you can call me Usagi," I added, knowing that often the honorifics were very important in Japan. The sudden switch from a formal one to a more endearing term would be shocking,

"Okay," she said as she spotted the clock. "Ah I have to go,"

"To the crystal seminar right?" I asked, and let her answer. She was going there every day because she wanted to be a doctor.

"Mn, see you there tomorrow," I said. "I heard they were going to shut down soon, I can't go today, but I'm going tomorrow you should go get all the studying in now you can get!"

Ami looked stricken once again and Naru spoke up,

"Where did you hear that?"

"I just know these things," I laughed. Both girls seemed to think I was nuts, but Ami seemed more concerned.

"Then I'd better hurry, see you!"

Ami left, and Naru and I ended up going for ice cream after all. I felt bad that she had kind of been a third wheel during that time with Ami, but she didn't seem to mind.

The rest of the night, and the next day were as usual. It seemed I was falling into a pretty good school routine. School let out and everyone was in the common room by the lockers. Naru and I met up with our nameless long haired friend, I was still too embarrassed to ask for identification when Naru offered we go out for ice cream again, all three of us.

"Kuri-chan," waved the black haired girl to the so-far nameless brunette friend of ours. Ah, so that was her name. Kuri. But she was pre-occupied, brain-washed by the seminar.

"She's going to the Crystal Seminar too," Explained Naru,

"Everyone goes there these days," said the long-haired girl.

"I'll be going tonight or tomorrow," I said, not really lying, "to see what the big deal is…" I added.  
Naru smiled,

"So dedicated to your studies all of the sudden, I'm proud of you."

I smiled back, "I'm going to see if I can find Ami-chan, I'm sure she'll come get ice cream with us. She's probably in the library."

It was an excuse, I knew I'd find her, invite her, and then she'd suddenly go zombie and wander off. Luna approached me as things played out exactly as I expected.

"It's the disk," I said to the cat, "We go to the seminar and destroy the monster that gave it to her. Then the spell will be broken."

I still had to meet up with the friends, but I decided not to go out for ice cream with them. I told them Ami said she wasn't feeling well and that I would go check on her. After all, I told them, it was probably my fault from taking her out yesterday.

I walked by the seminar and almost transformed right there and took her out, the woman handing out the cds. But how would I explain this in public? If I was to ever unlock Luna's memories, things had to stay at least mostly connected to the script.

The monster handed me a flyer and I glared at her, taking it. She looked surprised but then smiled and turned to continue handing them out. I stood there and started to walk away toward a garbage can.  
…wait…

Instead I tossed it behind me knowing a certain tuxedo-clad man would appear, in spite of Luna's protests about littering.

"Hey bun-head, I'm not a trash can."

I turned around looking smug, but he leaned in too close, shattering that smugness. "Your cat," he said, making me blush with his nearness, "It was talking wasn't it?"

"Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't. It'll be your business soon enough." I said. I knew that right now, Mamoru wasn't yet a good guy. He could easily work against me until much later. He couldn't be trusted yet, even if I knew I could help him with his dreams about the crystal and the princess. I felt bad walking away, maybe I could tell him everything? But what if he fell for me the way he fell for Usagi? This wasn't real, I couldn't let him have feelings for me could I? I shook my head, best not to think about that yet. Maybe I'd learn my lesson and go home before that was even an issue?

At home, I didn't bother examining Ami's CD. She had left it in the library, but I knew it was a brainwashing disk.

"Let's go rescue Ami." Luna nodded, looking serious. We headed back to the Seminar and slipped around back. Oh yeah! I thought as I saw the guards,

"The pen!"

Luna didn't have time to tell me how to use it before I shouted "Moon power, change me into a gorgeous doctor!" Saying a line from the original anime.

"I swear, do you even need me?" asked Luna.

"Of course I do," I giggled.

I gave my urgent excuse to the guards and hurried inside. As I approached the stairs, the world seemed to suddenly plunge into night time. It was dark, save for the glow of computer screens in endless rooms. I burst through the door to the only one with shouting people behind it.

"Ami-chan!" I exclaimed, as Luna jumped on the evil woman's face, forcing her to unhand the bluenette.

"Who are you?" asked the disguised Youma as Ami picked up her pen. I smiled with a quirky attitude,

"Moon Prism Power, Make up!"

The wonderful, sweet feeling of ribbons and transformation, and then I was standing there in front of them both.

"I'm the guardian of love and justice, Sailor Moon! And in the name of the moon, I shall punish you!"

The teacher, allowed her youma form to show.

"Don't get in my way!" she shouted, forcing an attack at me, and successfully ruining my cockiness.

The paper attack actually hurt a lot, like getting hit all over with hail and forcing a cry from my throat as I was pinned to the wall and the monster came at me.

"Stop it!" called Ami, as suddenly her pen lit up in a flash of magical energy.

Just then, Luna spoke up, startling the bluenette, instructing her on how to transform; Ami hardly hesitated before doing exactly that.

In a flash of light, there stood Sailor Mercury. So that's what it looks like when we transform from an outside perspective, I thought.

"Is this me?"she asked herself after giving an impressive introduction line about repentance.

"It's as I suspected! You're intelligence, you can be our brain! Sailor Mercury, I was looking for you! Time to fight back!" Said Luna.

I suspect that Ami is acting on instinct, her old self as her past life showing through telling her who she is as Sailor Mercury and how she immediately knew how to attack, compared to how Usagi needed to be told.

"Mercury Aqua Mist!" She shouted, unleashing a mighty mist into the office so thick it was impossible to make out the desks and computer screens anymore.

The monster was lost in confusion.

"Do it now sailor moon!" Called Mercury. Again, I guessed her past-life memories must take over when she transformed. She knew everything-wait, she knew!

"Mercury," I called, struggling, "I need to know, do you remember the Moon Kingdom?"

"There!" Shouted the youma, suddenly flying toward me, claws—or I thought they were claws, cutting me free from the paper trap attack. I moved out of the way just before her fist smashed into the wall. In fact, I was being rescued, whisked out of the way in a pair of strong arms.

He smelled so good, and I couldn't help being a little flustered, I turned red and my face felt hot. He set me down on woosy legs.

"Come on, Sailor Moon. Finish her." I shook myself into focus.

"Moon Tiara Boomerang!" I said, throwing the bladed, tiara-disk at the youma, who disintegrated. I looked back for Tuxedo Mask, but instead Mercury appeared.

"Mercury, Luna," I said, feeling embarrassed about my question earlier, "Look, I know that we sailor Senshi each come from their respective kingdoms. I'm from the Moon kingdom, but I don't remember anything else. I was just wondering if you know anything about that…" if she did, maybe she would know about my appearance in this world.

"I don't know," answered Mercury, while Luna shook her head, "It's like I was just saying what came naturally."

I accepted that, touched my broach and turned back. Ami did the same and we left the seminar as if nothing had even happened. It was still daylight in there, for all anyone else knew, we really had just gone to the seminar and came out when it was done.

"I wonder how I transformed with that pen from the arcade," she asked.

"I wonder it too," said Luna acting proud.

"Luna…it was you," she said,

"Ami-chan, let's stay friends." I said, deviating only slightly from the script, "We're going to need each other a lot more now that we are both senshi."

"Okay, I have a lot of questions. Let's go home and have a meeting." She took my hand with a smile and I felt warm as she pulled me off down the street. I wasn't sure how many answers I'd have for her, but it felt good to have another friend. I still missed my daughter, and had no idea what was going on, but while this lasted, I was having a lot of fun.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

As the days passed, it was harder to feel like I would wake up. Things were...like real life, using the bathroom, brushing my teeth, bathing, fighting with Shingo. Even little things like sneezing, blinking. It was so...real. The bruises had turned yellow, they were almost healed, and I'd been careful to hide them. Ami and I got closer every day, a lot of the time was spent studying, we both preferred to stay in than go to the arcade. I've always been an introvert like her, so it was easy to talk about books and manga and school work. Even though I thought she was cute, every day I valued her more and more as a friend, appreciated her. I started to become thankful for this world, this freedom, I missed my daughter, but Naru and Ami were becoming just as irreplaceable. Of course, we talked about being guardians. I wanted to know about that day at the seminar, how did she know what to say? How to attack? She said it was all instinct and she really didn't know anything else. I didn't try explaining where I was really from, and as far as Sailor Moon knowledge, I tried not to let on much more than what Luna said. I decided that my situation had to be on pause. I'd have to try to inquire about that later, after Luna got her memories. Maybe...for once, it was okay to be selfish, and just enjoy being Usagi. If I kept thinking about reality, I got nowhere, it was impossible to know anything.

The second week here in this strange, beautiful world came to a close and Naru invited me to her house for a sleep over. I was so excited and when I asked my mother...Usagi's mother, if I could, she said yes due to my sudden improvement in academics. I was actually really excited! The whole thing went like one would expect, I showed up, we went to the arcade, came home, got into our pjs, watched old movies, laughed, talked all night and eventually passed out on her bed. Naru really felt like my best friend, imagining myself as a separate person from Usagi was starting to fade.

Another week passed hanging out with Naru at lunch and Ami after school. The days were starting to blur together. When it was the weekend again, I helped my mother clean the house and beat out the tatami mats for the floor. She was impressed, and rewarded me with some yen for the arcade. I decided to save it, maybe I could go shopping with Naru? I stopped myself, how could I think about such frivolous things? Was I forgetting about my situation?

I found myself in class one day, doodling on the side of my notes, well, not really doodling, but practicing how to write my name, Naru's name, and Ami's name in hiragana. I linked them with little plus signs and smiled at my work. Hey, I was fourteen again right? So what if I wanted to doodle names? Class was over anyway and Naru had gone to chat with Kuri, the other brunette and Umino.

"Have you guys heard the latest rumor about the demon bus?" one of them said,

"Yeah, I heard its the bus that runs through Sendaizaka."

"Demon bus, whats that?" asked Naru, I looked up at the sound of her voice, watching my friend like a mother hen. Rei. Now I remembered, time was so stretched out. It had taken me a week to meet Ami, and now nearly a month had gone by. It was hard to know when to expect these events.

"How could you not know?" Said Umino, adjusting his glasses. I snorted quietly through my nose at the way he raised an eyebrow as if he were some cool guy bestowing some kind of truth upon them. "They say the bus that goes through Sendaizaka at six pm is cursed; anyone riding it is doomed never to return!"

Kuri decided to elaborate, "They say the bus driver is death itself!"

"Knock it off guys you're scaring me!" said Naru.

Suddenly something soft brushed against my leg, it was Luna who climbed into my lap, I automatically smoothed my fingers from her head down to her tail, then gave her head and ears a nice scratch before she climbed to my shoulder.

"Wow kids really do love to gossip, don't they?"

"Yeah...but this is important. We're going to find our third senshi soon."

"Really? Usagi, what do you know?"

"Ah.." I shot an awkward smile at Naru, who glanced over to smile at me while their conversation went onto homework and some tv show from the night before. "I'll tell you at the arcade, we should go."

I packed up my notebook and said bye to Naru and the others. Some part of me expected Naru to be jealous of Ami, or for her to be mad at me for seeing her. But that was part of living with someone like my...was he my fiance? I started to think I'd rather think of his as an ex. Yeah...My Ex. It sounded so official, felt really good to think about it like that too. Still, he never let me have friends, so the guilt of talking to someone else, having more than one person to hang out with, he'd somehow made me automatically feel like it was something to be sorry for, something dirty. This was friendship, not cheating. I hated how I had this sort of...mark on my soul from having been with him that made me feel bad about things that were perfectly normal.

But...I told myself, he wasn't here. He couldn't do that to me anymore. So I shoved my guilt at leaving Naru here with the others, even though there was nothing to be guilty about, and went to see Ami.

After all, it felt good to have a secret I could share with someone, even of it wasn't my real secret, it was still the senshi secret, and that was no joke. I walked with Luna to the arcade, she looked at me.

"Usagi, are you okay? You look troubled."

"Uhn. I'm fine, I was just thinking about home."

"You mean your world? Beyond this one?"

"Yeah. It was...a really terrible place. There was someone there who I don't miss at all, and someone else...who I miss terribly. I'm starting to wonder if they were even real. The bruises are almost gone."

"Usagi listen to me, whatever memories you have...they are there for a reason. You can help us find our princess, I just know it. Maybe once you've done that, you'll return."

I laughed ruefully, "The worst part is, I don't think I want to-" I was going to go on and explain about my daughter, how I wish she was here and that I could stay, but Luna interrupted.

"Then don't worry about it," she smiled reassuringly, "you're here now, we all are, and we all just have to do our very best!"

I smiled back. She was right, and I was eager to get rid of the dark cloud over my head.

Ami was waiting outside the arcade and we all went in together. I had no intentions of playing the Sailor V game again, but I was getting pretty good at it, and I knew Luna had another gift for us in there. I sat down to it and Ami picked up Luna. They were talking quietly, and I approached them after beating Level Two.

I had the cellophane packet in my hand with the rather impressive, if not super cute communicator bracelets. I handed one to Ami.

"Here, put this on." I instructed. Luna looked at me like I'd ruined some kind of joke. She took it,

"Wow this is really cute!"

I smiled, "Yeah! They are communicators, we can talk to each other this way," I chuckled, "No more texting!"

She smiled back and we giggled together.

"But seriously..."I paused, looking at Luna to tell her she was to hear this too, "We are close to finding Sailor Mars. I forget the name of the shrine but I think Ami has already seen her."

"I have?" asked Ami, blinking. She looked at me with such trust and curious wonder, like she thought I was really, really cool. It actually made me blush, "How do you know? I mean..." her lips parted like she was trying to figure out just how to ask how I could know something so amazing.

"Our Usagi seems to have a sixth sense for this sort of thing," said Luna proudly, saving me an explanation.

"Ever since that seminar shut down, you've been going back to your regular cram school right?" I asked her.

She nodded,

"And on the bus, you've noticed a really pretty girl with long black hair right?"

Her eyes sparked with memory.

"Yeah! She wears a uniform from Ta Girl's Academy."

"See? That's her. That's our Sailor Mars. I can't believe I forgot, we could have gone to her sooner…"

But then, maybe not. I remembered all the trouble I'd had trying to contact Ami before I was supposed to.

Ami looked confused and she touched my arm,

"Don't worry Usagi, we'll go see her now..Or rather, you will. I still have to get to cram school."

I smiled, "Don't worry about me, I got this."

I resisted the urge to take her hand as we walked out of the arcade. This was middle school, not grade school, that would be weird...wouldn't it?

I shook it off and casually walked beside her to the bus stop.

"Bus 66 through Sendaizaka," said Luna from her perch on my shoulder, "that must be the demon bus they're talking about."

Suddenly my heart sank, I'd be meeting Jadite soon. I was nervous and butterflies flitted in my stomach. Mamorou was cute, sure, but the Kings of the Dark Kingdom were hot. Like, really hot. How could I fight them seriously?

The Bus stopped before us and Ami was actually the one to grab my wrist and pull me on, she must have noticed I was spacing out. I appreciated her kindness in such a simple gesture.

"Do you see her?" I whispered when we stepped on and it started moving.

"Yeah, just there," she said, leaning so I could follow her gaze. And sure enough, there was her long black hair. She was beautiful, I couldn't help comparing the way she looked to a cosplay, but this...she was pure beauty. Jet black hair, long pale legs. Wow. She felt my eyes on her and turned. Once again, I saw her stop short only slightly, I knew that she too had seen the moon kingdom, as Ami had.

I started to hold out my hand to her, but the bus stopped and she hurried off.

"Wish me luck," I said to Ami, who nodded, looking determined, and I rushed off after her.

Of course, as the bus took off once more, I was left spinning.

"Where-ah! There!" I said, pointing at the large gate to the Hikawa Shrine. Luna hurried along with me as I jogged toward the large shrine building. When suddenly two black shapes swooped down at my head, flapping and squawking about. I covered my head and closed my eyes.

"Phobos, Demos, back off!" I called, of course, the crows didn't listen to me. Rei rushed to the door,

"I will cast out evil, be gone!" She shouted, the birds dispersed as a paper talisman hit me in the forehead. I blinked at it and pulled it off.

"Ah, I'm sorry," said Rei, her voice smooth and velvety, "I sensed evil, I thought it was you, Phobos and Demos don't attack regular people."

"Well I'm not regular people," I said, Rei's brow creased slightly and her lips opened as if she were about to ask me something, but just then a woman approached, followed by two others.

"It's Mi," she said, frantically, "She's missing!"

Rei looked stricken, but I waited patiently for the exchange to finish. I knew exactly where Mi was. She was inside a pocket dimension with Jadeite.

"It's a dangerous neighborhood," said Rei, "And there is that demon bus going around," she said, trying to offer solutions.

"That girl is not normal, they say she can sense the supernatural," said one of the others to her friend.

"I'm sorry, have you called the police?" Rei tried again.

"Yes," said the mother, sounding a little tearful, "I just thought she might be here." The three women left after that. Rei turned to me thoughtfully.

She spoke to herself, almost listlessly, "Mi..." she said the girl's name softly, "She's missing," she said a little more loudly so I would hear. "There are five hills that run through Sendaizaka, some say there is a sixth hill that is invisible. They say it's a gateway to another plane of existence, so you know what they say when someone disappears? It's called being spirited away."

I nodded and approached her, taking both her hands. I was spirited away, maybe that's how I got here, spirited away from my world to this one...but how? Anyway, there were more pressing things,

"Rei, listen to me,"

Her eyes widened and she tugged her hands back slightly, but didn't actually pull them free of my grasp.

"How do you know my name?"

"Rei," I said again, smiling softly at her, "I know you're different than the others. I'm different too, maybe even more so. It won't make sense now but, you're one of us. My name is Usagi Tsuinko, we will meet again in a few days. I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone."

Her brow creased again, "You're leaving?"

I held her hands tighter, "There is so much I want to tell you about who you are, who I am. But...it's hard to say all of it right now. I'm sure you understand. Everything will be clear very soon. Please don't worry."

Rei nodded, eyeing me carefully and I turned from her to go wait for the bus back through town, feeling a little bit of anxiety. I hated the bus in reality, I was always afraid I'd get off at the wrong stop or get hurt by some weirdo, but I took comfort in knowing that was impossible here.

Four days passed, it was a Friday and Ami and I were at the park with Luna.

"A local girl and some other children have been missing for days," said an adult nearby chatting with some others.

"Do you really believe it?" asked another,

"Well they are missing..." he replied.

Ami seemed preoccupied staring at her communicator. To lighten the mood I turned around on the bench and presented mine to her.

"We match!" I said cheerfully, stealing her line.

"I was going to say that!" smiled Ami.

"I think it's time we go see Rei," I said.

"She has a regal face and spiritual powers, she could be our princess, then again she could be something else entirely." Said Luna.

I smiled again, -I'm the princess. I thought to myself. All of this was too real, and following suit so perfectly, I'd almost bet money I was indeed Serenity. But I wasn't going to say so, I let Luna think what she was going to think.

"I'd love to, but I have cram school," said Ami, "Sorry..."

I laughed, "When do you NOT have cram school?" Ami blushed, and I just smiled, "It's okay, you're going to be a doctor, you should be studying hard. Ganbatte!"

She smiled and we split up. Luna strolled alongside me to the bus stop and sat on my shoulder so I could carry her onto the bus and to the back. Funny how they didn't care about pets on things like this, maybe they thought she was a stuffed animal.

"Now about the communicator, to use it, you just have to,"

"Press this button here, and talk to Ami?" I said with a grin. Luna shook her head, "Is there anything else you already know that you aren't telling me?"

"Haha, plenty," I said with a giggle.

"What sort of-meow! Meaowww, meow..." said Luna, noticing Mamoru coming to sit beside me.

"Why are you talking to yourself?" he asked,

"Maybe I was talking to my cat," I said coyly, petting Luna.

He squinted, "You're a weird girl."

"And you're a thief." I replied, referencing his jewel-knapping.

"What?" he asked, suddenly looking a little startled behind his glasses. I noted he looked pretty cool with glasses on. With my first month in this fantasy world almost done, I was feeling a little better about my fiance being gone. Maybe I really was free? I still couldn't make my heart really commit to a crush just yet but, being a little flirty was okay wasn't it? I couldn't help feeling guilty though. "I'm a high school student thank you very much," he said, flashing his School ID. Moto Izamu Private High School. He put it away and looked out the widow suddenly, as if he were offended.

I just stared at him. That jawline, like how girls sometimes cosplay bishounen, kind of a feminine shape to his face, even though I knew he wasn't a girl in drag. He was in fact a real bishie. Wow. I studied the shapes of his eyes, everyone;'s eyes were bigger here, but it didn't look unnatural. Even his.

He caught me looking at him and quickly averted his gaze, was that a blush I saw on his cheeks? I got a rush down my spine; Usagi would have hid under Luna, but I actually looked away toward the opposite window. Turns out I was the one blushing. Look at me...looking at him like some kind of specimen. Who was I? Hanji? Ugh!

Luckily my stop came first and I got up, but I felt self conscious, I knew he was watching my back as I walked back down the isle to escape. And I looked at his window as it drove off, sure enough, he was pretending not to look at me, but he was still looking. I smoothed my uniform and started to the shrine.

I found the women harassing Rei, asking her to do some kind of spell to locate the children.

"Hey!" I shouted, "Why don't you guys back off?" I said sternly, interrupting the whole thing, "Who are you to come to a peaceful shrine to harass some teenager about a missing child? Are you guys stupid? Go call a detective or something like adults."

"Where have they gone, do YOU know? Just what are trying to say? I bet you're in on it!" They insisted.

I was ready to argue some more, but Rei intervened.

"Please, just leave." And they did, shooting glares at us both. Rei sighed, "Ever since I was small, my powers make me an outcast, even a freak." She stared out toward the gate, "Why was I born this way? I don't understand. I appreciate what you said before, trying to make me feel better, but you should stay away from me and not come here anymore."

That made me a little angry, I always hated when people were so unhappy with themselves that they pushed good and willing friends away. I was going to say more but Luna whispered to me,

"We should go,"

I then remembered the bus, and my argumentative mood was put on hold. I nodded. Rei was about to be kidnapped as well. Which meant the battle was coming. I forgot...why was it so hard to remember all the events? I suddenly didn't feel ready for this. I was going to meet Jadeite...today! Very soon! It was like meeting a rockstar...one that wanted to kill you, but still, a rockstar.

I gave Rei a longing sort of sorry look, and she looked off into the distance. We left the shrine, but didn't go far at all. I crouched around the corner where I could still see the shrine gate.

"Rei is going to go meditate, she's going to have a vision about the demon bus and when she runs out to tell me about it, she's going to get abducted."

"What?" Luna's tail fluffed with anxiety,

"Then we should-"she started,

"There she is!" I said and took off running after the possessed vehicle. I didn't bother using the pen to transform into a flight attendant, I choose something more practical.

"Turn me into a track star!" I shout, and my school uniform and heels were replaced with neon running shorts, running shoes, and a tank top complete with a first place winner sash.

The sneakers helped me increase my speed and I leaped onto the back of the bus. Of course, Luna fell from my shoulder, tearing the sash off. I looked back to see Tuxedo mask catch her. I looked at him, making sure to look like I recognized him and then purposefully looked away as the bus disappeared through the porthole.

It was dark at first, but then, sort of like when you first wake up, I became aware of smells, sounds, temperature. It was rather cold here, an almost wet feeling in the air, and thick with fog.

I had to find the missing people, they would be in some kind of group on the ground somewhere. With it being so dark, I knew I was in the Dark Kingdom. I could feel dark energy all around me. In reality, I believed in spirits and ghosts, and while I wasn't wholly religious, there were some places that just...gave me a bad vibe. This was one of those places.

I looked at the blinking communicator. Luna must have gotten to Ami faster than I thought.

"Usagi transform now!" shouted Ami when I opened it. Right, I remembered, if I transformed, they would teleport to me. I sighed and smoothed over my long ponytail. Wow, I might try this hairstyle just for fun sometime, and then I retrieved the compact from the pocket of the track shorts.

"Moon prism power, make up," I whispered quietly to the thing. And I felt that wonderful sensation of being swept up into a warm magical embrace, the whooshing all around me. The buzzing in my heart and stomach. Wow it was wonderful. I felt myself standing on the ground again and a sudden new sensation was upon me.

I felt rough arms, one around my waist, the other pulling my arm close, like the way the lead dancer pulls his partner, but there was something more malicious about this. My nose filled with the scent of cologne, like nothing I'd ever smelled before. Something about it was flowery, but his face. Smooth lines, sharp angled beautiful eyes.

I let out a breath. He was gorgeous.

"Jadeite!" I breathed, my heart racing.

"Have we met?" He sneered dangerously, "You're so beautiful, I'm strangely attracted like we've seen each other before." His voice was so smooth, I felt like it was seductive, and I was certainly feeling rather seduced, even as scary as his eyes were.

"I'm Sailor Moon," I said, still breathless. His eyes flickered with something dark, yet somehow excited.

"Douce yourself in water and repent!" I heard Ami shouting at him, a fountain of water suddenly shot between us and he jumped back, releasing me.

"At last, I've been waiting Sailor Moon, I'm one of the four kings of the dark kingdom, though you seem to know that," Ami didn't allow him to continue, she shot another spout of water at him, which he countered with a freezing spell, he laughed. "You think you can use such petty magic against me?" Green electric energy flew from both of his hands and I braced myself.

It gripped me and I held my arms in front of my face to protect myself, crossing my forearms like a guard.

"Jadeite stop it!" I shouted.

"Usagi is that you? Whats going on?" I suddenly heard Rei, though I couldn't see her through the magic. Even as I tried to block it, I could feel it's energy crawling around my arms like snakes, wrapping around my neck, ribs, my legs. All over. It was cold and felt like prickling needles, I couldn't move either, frozen from the power.

"Ngh, I told you!" I shouted, "We are senshi, you are one of us. That's why you're different Rei. It's why I came to you and said what I did. You must help us. Luna, give her the pen!"

"Shut up!" Yelled Jadeite, his cold magic started to solidify. I could feel my arms start to go numb under the crystals forming around my fingers and arms.

Suddenly it stopped and faded. I looked up to see one of Rei's talismans in action, stopping Jadeite's attack.

"What's the meaning of this! You are only human!" He shouted, grappling with her, icing over her hands.

"No I'm more than that! I'm special and I won't let you hurt anyone else anymore!" Flames erupted from her hands melting the remaining ice around the room and on her, the symbol of Mars appeared and faded on her forehead.

"You were right Sailor Moon!" shouted Luna, I rolled my eyes, frustrated. She dared doubt me? I realized though that it was completely logical for her to doubt. I shouldn't have even be so confident. "Rei, catch!" Luna finally tossed the pen, telling her the words to say.

She did, and her light was a radiant red glimmer before Sailor Mars stood before us. There was too much going on for her to care about a talking cat just then, I figured.

"I am the pretty guardian who fights for love and for passion, in the name of mars I will chastise you!" She said, I assumed it was another one of those bone-deep memories, like Ami's, just knowing what to say when one transforms. Part of the magic of a memory repression spell, it can't get rid of everything completely.

I didn't have time to be impressed.

"Mars look out!"Luna yelled. Jadeite wielded some kind of energy disk that flew at her. She just looked stunned, unable to react, just staring at herself.

I grit my teeth and threw my tiara, it collided with his disk and dispersed.

"Now Sailor Mars, finish him!" Shouted Luna. I turned my back and ran for Ami, diving for her waist and pushing her back.

"Evil spirit, be gone!" Rei shouted as a burst of flame enveloped the entire area. Ami and I fell to the ground mere feet from the edge of the blast, feeling the heat on my legs. Of course the dark king disappeared in the blaze.

Panting beside Ami, I looked back. Rei was looking at her hands again.

I gathered my wits and stood, helping Ami to stand and we went to her.

Rei looked like she was about to cry. I just looked at her, but when she looked at me and sighed, relief washing through her expression, I couldn't help but hug her, also sighing with relief.

"See?" I said softly into her hair, "I told you."

Rei hugged me back, "I have so many questions." She said, breathless.

"I know, I promise to help as much as I can." I said back and pulled away, breaking the hug.

"The missing people are over there," I said, gesturing to the group not too far away.

"How do we get home?" Asked Ami.

Just then, the world around us shimmered and it appeared we were in an abandoned warehouse.

"I think we're already here." I said, slightly afraid we'd gone to my world. "Mercury, let's make an anonymous call to the police. Let's get these people home."

Back at the shrine some of the emergency responders gathered with a few of the people. Since the warehouse was only a block from the shrine. Of course, Mi was reunited with her mother. Rei looked to us,

"I'll help here as much as I can but...thank you." She squinted slightly, holding back some kind of emotion.

"There are three now that you're with us," says Luna, "I'm so glad that you found us. We needed someone like you."

"No, I needed you," replied Rei, "I still have so much to ask..."

"How about tomorrow? It's Saturday after all. If you promise to make tea, I'll explain as much as possible. I have so much to tell you." I said.

Rei nodded and then went to help passing out blankets to the rescued people.

Ami, Luna and I turned for the bus stop.

"I can't help feeling like we should stay," said Ami,

"Me too," says Luna.

I chuckled, "Ami, do you know what time it is?"

She looked at her watch, "Oh my gosh! It's almost dinner time! Mother will be worried."

I smiled and we headed to our respective homes. That night, as I soaked in the bath, I noticed something. My bruises...were gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

I got up Saturday morning with mixed emotions. Wearing one of Usagi's button up pajama tops, I strolled across my room. Funny how the room felt like mine now, but the things in it didn't. My real world clothes were still in the bottom of my closet, and I still wore my pentacle necklace every day, all day. I never took it off. Now that the bruises were gone, I almost didn't want to. Maybe I'd go back to reality if I did. And I was stuck with a terrible feeling in my gut. So selfishly stuck between trying it, and going back to that awful place, with that awful man and getting my daughter back, or just riding this out. If I really cared, wouldn't I try it? Well, wouldn't I?

I called myself a selfish coward and went through the pockets of her school uniform. I found a paper in the pocket, oh! It was one of Rei's talismans, the one that had hit me in the forehead. I took it to my mirror and wedged it in between the glass and the frame so it would stay. Cool, I could use all the protection I could get. Okay, I thought, I'm going to the shrine today. It was just after nine when I chose a cute white skirt, black thigh high socks and pink top.

I experimented in the mirror with different hairstyles, a long braid, a side pony tail, low odango, but I ended up going with the usual odango pigtails. I was Usagi after all, nothing else really suited me as nicely as those did.

It wasn't much longer before I went downstairs. Shingo was running around the house with his shirt pulled up over his nose.

"What are you doing brat?" I asked,

He pulled his shirt down to stick out his tongue, "I'm playing ninja, and you're not invited."

"I don't want to play anyway," I retorted, "I have my own plans, way cooler than anything YOU could be doing." I wrinkled my nose at him.

"Going out with Naru again?" Asked mother, reading over her paper with her coffee.

"No, I made a new friend yesterday. She's a shrine maiden over at Hikawa shrine. I said I'd go visit her today."

"Oh look at my Usagi, you're making so many friends lately! It used to be just you and Naru, you know, you two have been inseparable since grade school."

I smiled and went for some orange juice, and started at something on the counter.

"Are those...red bean buns?"

"Hm? Oh yes, I saw a new recipe I wanted to try. Tell me if you like them!"

I'd never had red bean paste before, but I heard it was really popular. I picked up the treat and crunched into it. Yum!

"Mom, this is delicious!" I said, letting the flavor take me.

"Really? Thank you!"

"I'm serious, you should enter this in a contest or something!"

She chuckled modestly, "You're too kind Usagi-chan."

I smiled, just then Shingo zoomed by Naruto-style and stomped on my foot.

"Ow you dork! Watch it!" I called, he stopped to look over his shoulder and pull down his lower eyelid with one finger and take off again. It was an insulting gesture I recognized from anime so I did it right back.

Mom didn't say anything, just kept reading her paper. I sighed through my nose, annoyed, but I let it go. I finished my orange juice and the bun and went to pick out a purse. I put some of the yen I'd been saving along with my school ID, I chose a different pair of shoes too than Usagi's usual navy blue heels. Some white mary-jane style flats were much better.

Off I went. I called Ami on the communicator.

"Hey, I'm heading to the shrine now, are you coming?"

"Sure!" She replied, "I want to help, if I can."

Luna was already beside me.

"Okay, see you soon."

I walked to the bus stop by the school, Ami was there a few minutes after, just as the bus was pulling up.

"You look cute today!" She complimented. But I was the one who was stunned. She was wearing a black and white striped shirt with a high neckline, almost like a turtle neck, but it had no sleeves, a blue skirt and white knee-high socks. I thought the outfit was actually very cute and suited her perfectly the longer I looked at it.

"So do you!" I said back. She shrugged her shoulders and blushed. It made me a little giddy to make her react like that, we got on the bus and were at the shrine in just minutes.

We walked under the archway and up the steps to the actual building. I stopped before a small water basin with fancy spoon-like dippers and washed my hands, then went up to the thick rope than hung from the shrine bell. I put some yen in the box, rung the bell and clapped my hands. All this ritual was the proper way to go about making a wish at the shrine. I went through the motions, but I didn't know exactly what to wish for. That this would never stop? That it would? That my daughter could somehow be here too?

"Not bad," said Rei.

I looked up to see she was holding a broom.

I smiled and bowed, Ami bowed too.

"Hello," I said. Rei bowed back in greeting.

"I wasn't expecting you so early, but come on inside. I'll make that tea."

I looked at Ami excitedly and smiled. She shrugged happily.

Inside we went, we removed our shoes and Rei led us to a room with a short table and some seating pillows.

When she brought the tea and we were all seated, all eyes were on me, even Luna looked interested.

"Okay," I began, feeling a little nervous. "Let's talk about Luna."

"M-me?" she mewed.

I laughed a little, "Luna is our guide, I know you both had visions when you saw me. A white palace sound familiar?"

They looked at each other and then back to me intently, nodding, "That's the moon kingdom." I continued, "Luna came from that place, and so did I, but..." I tried to think carefully about how to word the next part, "your memories have been wiped, mine too for the most part, but Luna does remember her mission is to gather us so we can find the princess and ultimately the silver crystal. You may have guessed she can talk because essentially, she's no earth cat."

"Thank makes sense," said Ami, "I feel like I already knew that, aside from the obvious. When she spoke the day I transformed, I wasn't surprised. It was almost like I had expected she knew how to talk all along."

"Lucky, Phobos and Deimos don't talk," said Rei, crossing her arms.

"It's so cool that they protect you though," I said.

"I guess...so, what do you mean princess?"

"The silver crystal," I explained, "is a very powerful artifact. We need to find it in order to...well, save the world. The Princess is bound to have it, and chances are she's here too, memory-less like the rest of us."

It was a pretty good lie I thought. It fit with the situation I was pretending to be in. I wondered how I could tell Luna I was really the one she was looking for? It occurred to me that Usagi had to experience some kind of great emotional stress to become Serenity and force the crystal to appear, and that was not something I could just do on a whim. At this point, I doubted that seeing Mamoru in danger would spur such a huge response, but if Naru or Ami were in danger, I'd do anything for them.

"I see," said Rei, looking into her tea, "So, what about these powers?"

"The powers of our transformed selves...I don't know, I think we are reincarnations of people from the Moon Kingdom. That's were they come from...but I'm not sure, it's something like that."

Luna put a paw up by her mouth, thinking hard, as if she was trying to confirm what I said with her own memories, but was drawing a blank. Ami looked very intent, like she was memorizing every word.

"As for your powers, when you aren't transformed Rei... I'm not sure, I think they may be a bleed over from you being so closely connected to the occult. Being a spiritual person, believing in magic and things like that, it probably made you more open minded to your past self and it comes through."

"I suppose that makes sense too," she said, sounding unsure, but having no real argument.

My mouth felt dry, I sipped the tea. It was bitter, but this was REAL shrine tea. Of course it wasn't going to have sugar in it.

"So what happens now?" asked Ami.

"We aren't the only senshi," I answered, "There are so many others we are going to meet; I think Jupiter is next, I'm not sure what school she goes to, but she's very tall, boyish with brown hair and green eyes."

"How do you know that?" asked Rei, her eyes narrowing. Her voice was filled with honest curiosity, but her eyes said she was suspicious.

"I asked the same thing when she knew about you," said Ami, "she has a sixth sense for this sort of thing." She said, parroting Luna's explanation. I decided to expand.

"You know...how you can look into fire and see things?" something sparked in Rei's eyes and she leaned forward slightly.

"It's like that I guess." It was a more acceptable explanation, but it could be true. She looked into a fire, I looked at a magic electric box with moving pictures. I might have laughed lamely at myself if I'd been alone.

She sat back a little, "Oh."

Was she disappointed with my answer?

"And there's this guy, Tuxedo Mask. Luna, you might remember, he was there the day I first transformed, and he caught you yesterday when I followed the bus through the portal."

"Oh yes. I ran away as fast as I could. I didn't want him following me."

"He's a jewel thief. He's looking for the crystal too. Remember the boy on the bus who almost caught me talking to you?"

"Yes, I've been researching him. His name is Chiba, Mamoru."

"Tuxedo Mask and Mamoru are the same person." I revealed, Luna frowned.

"Is he a threat?" asked Rei.

"I'm not sure," answered Luna, "but he's suspicious...and what Usagi just said confirms that. If he's looking for the crystal, that's a problem,"

"Not if we are careful." I said, "He's prone to being influenced by that man we met in the Dark Kingdom and others like him. He doesn't know it yet, but we are allies. We just have to show him he can trust us, without losing all our leverage in case he goes the other way."

"We'll leave that to you, since you're the only one who's seen him." said Ami.

"Ah...I guess I have, he's a high schooler." I said.

"Eh? So that's your type? Older boys?" teased Rei. I felt myself turning red. No! I wanted to say, my type is a certain long haired brunette evil guy with an eye for short haired red heads. Or even long haired whitenettes with a little bit of homo in their blood. Oddly, I was attracted to all the brainwashed evil guys more than my, or rather Usagi's, beloved Endymion. Rei was right though, no matter which way you cut it, they were all older than I was, at least physically.

"Stop it Rei!" laughed Ami, "You're embarrassing her!"

"I was just having fun," she chided, looking at me. I smiled at her.

"That's all for now," I looked at Luna, "Oh wait, one more thing. Luna, give her a communicator."

"Oh! Right!" She said. Just as my compact had appeared in a glimmer, there appeared a communicator on the table. Rei looked stunned, but picked it up.

"Just open it to contact either of us." I said.

"Wow," she said, slipping it on her wrist, "I can't believe this is happening."

I smiled at her knowingly, "It is Rei," I looked at Ami and then back to the shrine maiden, "we're in this together. Never forget that okay?"

She looked at me, emotion in her lavender eyes again, but then she snorted.

"Don't look so serious! Geez!"

I sighed and blinked. Maybe I was the emotional one.

We wrapped up at the shrine and left Rei to her work. Ami said she wanted to get home and study, so Luna and I went back to my house, since I'd forgotten my cell phone.

"What are you doing?" She asked as I flopped down on my bed.

"Texting Naru," I said, having a flashback. My ex used to always ask who I was talking to at any given moment. Sometimes so forcefully I would jump and feel bad for even talking to my mom or my sister, but Luna's question was genuine, and not laced with some jealous ulterior motive.

"What about the mission?"

"The next target is Princess D. Go research that if you want, but nothing is going to happen until she comes to Japan."

"You could have mentioned that at the meeting."

"Don't worry," I said, "I have a feeling it's still a while before that happens...we won't be able to find anything out until then."

"Well, smarty pants, I think I will go look her up...wait, do you know about-"

"Your secret computer room under the Sailor V machine? Yes."

Luna laughed, "You really should tell me what you know."

I shook my head, "I can't, if I tell you everything, who knows what could happen. Given my situation, I don't want to break reality here or something weird like that."

She sighed, "I'll see you tonight?"

"Yeah." I could have tried to stay over with Naru again, but honestly I missed having time alone. Living in a house with someone who was always breathing down your neck, in your business and judging you made you really treasure just being alone. Funny, before him, alone time made me feel sorry for myself, lonely even, but now I longed for it.

My phone buzzed, a cheerful text from Naru said she was free if I wanted to come over, we'd go catch lunch and then go back to her house to hang out.

Ah, this was so nice!

I ended Saturday with an armful of manga I borrowed from her. It was cheesy Shojo stuff, but I was so in love with it. It gave me something to do in my alone time that made me feel like it really might be okay to fall in love again- and not be afraid of some loser jumping to weird conclusions about everything and threatening me within an inch of my life.

I loved the manga so much, that it consumed my night. Sunday was another story.

It was mid day and Luna was napping on my bed. I sat at my desk studying the transformation pen. I could use this to look like my real self, I thought. But...again, fear of going back to reality was there. If I did make myself look like that, maybe I'd wake up. Maybe I didn't want to.

What was I supposed to do?

I put it away and then as evening drew to a close, it was back to reading manga until late.

I had trouble getting up the next day, I ended up running behind. I felt kind of bad for breaking my perfect attendance since I'd appeared in this world. But stopped on my way when I saw the road was blocked off. Today was the day. We'd be going to a ball tonight.

I was relieved that when I arrived in class Sakurada-sensei wasn't angry, but asked if I was feeling okay and ushered me to my seat, ignoring my attempts to tell her I was fine. She told me to rest and kept shooting me worried looks all period.

It seemed I'd really changed her opinion of Usagi. After school, I knew I'd be meeting with Ami and Rei at the arcade. Luna told us she wanted to talk.

After school, I said goodbye to Naru, then Ami and I went together, Rei came separately. I sat back to wait while Ami pulled out a study pamphlet and got to work. Apparently cram school issued study guides to fill out at one's leisure?

Rei appeared and joined us while we waited for Luna.

"You're amazing," said Rei, breaking the silence that had settled over the group, "how many questions can you solve so fast?"

"It's really not that difficult," chimed Ami.

Rei smiled and changed the subject, "This is my first time in an arcade."

Ami shut her study book, "It was my first time when Usagi brought me here a while ago," she glanced at me a little shyly. It made me smile too, feeling heat in my ears.

"Wanna play a game?" Offered Ami to Rei, soon, the two of us were hunched over her shoulder watching her fail at button mashing. I was glad someone was worse at it than I was.

"It's harder than I thought," Rei mused, sounding frustrated.

"While playing, hit the attack button repeatedly, jump back and forth." Instructed Ami. Almost immediately Rei improved and beat the boss she'd been fighting.

"Yay! I did it! Thanks for the advice!" She exclaimed.

Just then Luna appeared. She hopped up on one of the stools and mewed softly. We all turned to her and arranged ourselves so we could listen in.

"Now there are three of you," she began. I looked at the shape of her head and eyes, watching how her cat mouth was able to form words. It looked bizarre, and yet not bizarre at all.

"I still cant believe it," said Rei, "I'm sick of evil spirits and youma already. Who are they after all?"

"Not even I know, but you are guardians to fight against them and protect the princess at all costs."

I shifted and looked off to the side. I knew who they were, but how could I explain?

"But how? We don't even know who the princess is," replied Rei.

"Usagi was onto something when she explained some things the other day. I believe her power has been sealed away so enemies can't easily find her."

"Sealed?" Ami breathed the word as if it were some kind of mystical secret.

"Why?" Asked Rei.

"The princess may have the crystal, if our enemies get it, it will be a disaster."

I found myself fidgeting and tried to make myself stop.

"I'm sure they are looking for it," said Ami.

"If she doesn't have it, and they find it, our princess will be in danger," warned the cat.

"If only we had a clue..." Rei said softly, looking like she was thinking hard.

I almost broke down, I should say something right? It would help everyone relax, but then again, how could I prove it? They would surely want to see for sure that I wasn't just trying to be a glory hog. Even though I was Sailor Moon, there was still room for them to doubt me. I stayed quiet.

"You are the key to making that happen, when all the senshi are awakened the seal will be broken and we will know where the crystal is."

Rei and Ami both leaned forward like they were going to ask something, but the Arcade doors opened. Motoki and Umino strolled inside.

"So many officers on the street today," said the tall blond.

"It's because the princess of the Kingdom of D is visiting the embassy," replied the nerd.

"I see. Hi everyone," he smiled a charming grin at the three of us, even gave Luna a pat on the head.

"I've got a picture of her, even though its nearly impossible to get." Umino bragged. He presented a picture to me and the others of a blonde girl with thick spiral glasses like his.

"That? She looks like you!"chuckled Motoki.

"She has a very noble face doesn't she?" he said. "There's going to be a dinner party tonight where she will reveal some kind of special treasure. Kindgom D is known for it's rare and precious gem exports."

"How interesting," said Ami.

"I've got a bad feeling," said Rei quietly, leaning close to my shoulder so she could say it very quietly. She smelled sweet, like cherry blossoms.

I walked home with knots in my stomach. I had so much to worry about, for one, I couldn't remember this episode very well. What was I going to do? What was going to happen? Until now I'd been confident in my memory about how things played out, now, I was nervous. I came home to a rare glimpse of Usagi's father. In the past weeks, I knew he was around, but I'd always been doing homework or with Naru or Ami, I almost never saw him, but there he was, straightening the tie of his tux.

"Hello father," I said too formally, "going to the masquerade tonight?"

"Yeah, how'd you know? It's for an interview for my magazine."

"Good luck," I said with a smile and bowed, then left him (looking rather shocked) for my room with Luna on my heels.

"You were right about Princess D, this treasure she's presenting is worth going to look at."

"It's not," I confessed, plopping onto the bed.

"What? Why?"

"Princess D's treasure is just a sculpture of her, it's not the silver crystal, but we still have to go. She's in danger."

Luna seemed to have accepted my knowledge and sighed, "So then what?"

"Just because I know it's not the silver crystal doesn't mean anything. Our enemies believe she may have it and she's going to be attacked."

"Then we have to stop them." She looked determined, but for a moment, I thought I saw suspicion in her eyes.

"We had better get going, do you know how to get to the embassy?" I asked. Luna nodded and jumped down from my bed. I pulled out the pen.

"Change me into a beautiful princess!" I said. I felt the warm rush of magic and was dressed for the part.

On the way out I used the communicator to contact Rei and Ami, filling them in and telling them what to wear.

"When we get there Luna, you'll have to sneak in the balcony, the guard will catch you if you try to come with us in the front." She nodded.

We met the others outside the arcade where Ami phoned a cab.

"Why do you look so nice?" commented Rei, eyeing my outfit.

"I think it's beautiful," said Ami.

I swayed a little, showing off the gown, "Magic." I winked at them. Ami laughed cutely, Rei smiled and shook her head.

The cab took us straight there, Rei paid the fare and we got out.

"I've got a bad feeling," she said again.

"Then we have to find her as soon as possible," said Ami.

"Right," said Rei.

"You guys look down here I'll look above." I said, genuinely not remembering where she was and hurrying up the steps. It wasn't until I stumbled upon the ballroom that I remembered what was going to happen.

Oh no. No. I'd dance with him. Soon. I wasn't ready for this. No way.

What would my heart do if I were touched in such a dreamy romantic way? I'd been abused, mentally, emotionally, physically by someone I had once loved. This night with Tuxedo Mask was supposed to be one of their first romantic meetings. How could I deal with this? I had to get out of there, now.

I turned and bumped into a woman who spilled her drink on me. She sort of snubbed me and kept moving. Rather than get upset about that, I was more upset that she was in my way and hurried off with a grunt. I'd forgotten all about the handkerchief that would fall from my gown when I did this.

I ran outside and hid, not remembering the episode at all. I used the pen to renew my dress and erase the stain, figured if I stayed out here alone, maybe he wouldn't find me. A couple came out complimenting each other about dancing, it was laced with subtle flirting and a small flutter in my heart told me I missed that, even as afraid of love as I was.

"Beautiful princess, will you dance with me?" purred his familiar voice.

It's him. I know it's him. Tuxedo Mask, Mamoru...Usagi's soul mate. He held his hand out to me and my stomach became so full of butterflies I had to swallow in order to calm my nerves. My mind was screaming that I can't, I was afraid. Somehow, I was so afraid. Afraid to feel again.

The moonlight reflected off his dark hair, shone in his blue eyes behind that white mask. In spite of my feelings about the Dark Kings being hot, Tuxedo Mask was a different kind of handsome tonight. Something reflecting deep in his eyes went beyond physical attraction, it was so inviting. I tentatively took his hand, my heart beating like a rabbit's.

I allowed him to lead me to the dance floor where I felt like everyone was looking at us, even though no one even noticed. He placed my hand against his shoulder and I could feel his warmth.

"I'm so afraid," I whispered, trembling as he guided me around the floor. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but even so...

"I wanted to see you," he said gently.

"You don't understand, I can't-" I tried to explain to him what I was feeling, tell him about the state of my heart, that he can't be in love with me, but the soft fabric of his glove silenced me as he pressed a finger to my lips.

He smiled and led me in a twirl, which made me blush. Raising my arm up so high, held by his hand, left my body open, vulnerable, but his other hand gently applied support to my lower back and he dipped me low. The angle made me trust him not to drop me, and his arm was strong. He met my gaze and my heart skipped. I was still afraid, but also effectively seduced . He pulled me up and to his chest, where for only one heartbeat, I felt him hold me before we were twirling around the floor again.

I was always terrible at being led around in a dance, I was always told that I tried to lead when it came to dancing. But this time, like the time on my first day, my feet just seemed to know what to do. I watched him, unable to stop, and he looked at me too. I wanted to explain, I wanted to cry, I wanted to run away, and yet, I didn't want to stop. All at once though he left me standing there as he ran off into the crowd without another word.

I stared after him, pressing my hands to my chest. I was still trembling, I had a knot in my throat. Why did I feel this way? I tried to understand it, was I relieved? Did I like his attention? Was I really afraid of him? Or afraid of myself? I didn't have any more time to think, Luna's voice broke into my fragile thoughts.

"Usagi, are you okay? You're blushing!"

"I...I'll be fine." I realized I was crying, but I wiped the tear away before it fell, Luna didn't seem to notice.

"Where are the girls?"

"Crap!" I said, turning to the left. Luna followed my gaze to see Princess D charging toward us with her body guards chasing after. They managed to grab her. She wrestled free and with forceful swipe of her arm, she released an energy wave from her fingertips that sent then to the ground.

"Don't get in my way!" She said, "Anyone who gets in my way will be sacrificed to our great ruler!"

She help up an arm and darkness flooded from her feet. I stared at it, of all the supernatural things I'd seen so far, this was the most terrifying. A blackness so evil crawled from her feet that my heart sank and my eyes grew wide.

"Oh no, get out of this room now!" shouted Luna, which forced my terrified feet to move. This was real evil, not that "bad vibe" sort of evil, a real tangible darkness that sucked the energy from everyone in the room. It was one thing as a cartoon, but when it was this real, it really was horrible.

I ran to the balcony followed by the possessed princess. "

"Move!" She shouted, shoving me. Her supernatural strength sent me flailing to the railing and right over it.

My breath caught in my throat with a trapped scream when suddenly I felt a jolt. My wrist locked securely in a strong hand, putting tension on my arm and shoulder. I almost started crying, the sudden jolt and catch reminded me of my assault in the real world. After all the emotional feelings going on tonight, I didn't need something triggering some kind of panic attack. I forced myself to pull it together. I knew we were going to fall, and couldn't remember what to do about it.

As his grip failed, I felt his body pass mine, cradling me from behind against his chest so he would take the brunt of the fall. My heart filled with a longing I couldn't explain.

"Usagi-chan, use your pen!" Thank goodn.0ess for Luna, or I never would have moved at all.

I pulled the pen free and willed it to change into an umbrella, which defied all physics and safely ferried us to the ground.

He pulled my chin gently, making me turn slightly, my shoulder still pressed to his chest, turned just enough to look at him. He was so close, his breath was sweet, "You saved me today, are you hurt?"

His eyes flashed from a soft gaze to something more concerned, but I could't fully read his expression around the mask. Could he see how distraught I was? He moved his hand from my chin to my fingers that now gripped the umbrella tightly.

My mouth opened , but I couldn't speak so I shook my head. Just like that, he turned from me into the night. I was in a stupor, I just stood there.

"Transform now!" Luna shouted. I shook my head hard, snap out of it! I pulled the compact from my bodice and thrust it into the air.

"Moon prism power, make up!"

My worries about Tuxedo Mask were swallowed in that feather-soft and invigorating transformation. It was so exciting! Warming me with energy from my toes all the way up to the top of my head.

When it was done, I felt more focused, and in fact, a little angry. I reached for my forehead when I felt no cool metal, just skin.

"Ah-?" Was all I could get out before I remembered the last battle, when I'd thrown it to save Rei from Jadeite's disk, it had been destroyed. My middle finger pressed against the central point of my forehead for a moment, how did Usagi get it back?

All at once I remembered the dance floor and a long forgotten rush of nervousness and attraction moved down my spine. I felt warm, hot almost, remembering his gentleness. That strange fear that came from how I felt about him was behind a fuzzy curtain of longing. He cared for Usagi, he loved her the way I had wanted to be loved by the one who had hurt me, that person who I didn't love anymore.

I saw Mamoru's face and felt some kind of inner wall inside my heart break and a rush of warm emotions flooded me centering under my fingertip where I felt something form into a solid mass. The new tiara. When I opened my eyes I felt the walls around my heart shoot back up into place.

I turned my gaze up to the balcony and used my anime jump to get back up to the others.

My favorite King's face flickered in the black flames over the Princess' possessed body. It was so twisted and evil, it made me step back. There was no CG graphics that compared to seeing something like this for real.

"I'll be taking the treasure now,"

"Take it if you want Nephrite, it's useless to you." my voice comes out extra cold, too cold for the sort of voice I'd like to show him.

"Sailor Moon!" exclaimed Ami, surprised at me.

"Evil spirit be gone!" called Rei, a fireball erupted from her hand and launched at his face, but it merely passed through.

"Sailor Moon," I couldn't help the way my head whipped around to find the source of Tuxedo Mask's voice.

"The only thing that will defeat him is pure light."

Oh yeah, I thought. I channeled my erratic heartbeat, and the turmoil of emotions into the tiara, drawing the moonlight into me, imagining that it was cleansing me and the tiara began to glow. I used all my energy to glare at the black flames and released everything at him in a beam of light.

I didn't expect it to be so powerful, I felt a vibration pass through my heart and my forehead shooting out at him. I was in no mood for fancy one liners announcing my name tonight.

The light caused the black fire to retreat, the Princess collapsed to the ground as it solidified elsewhere on the adjacent rooftop.

"What you attacked was my shadow," said a voice; the solid shape became Nephrite and my heart couldn't take it. He was even hotter than Jadeite, that long hair and broad chest, hard and angled features, there was no kindness in his gaze. It made me frown, trying to look brave in spite of all my spinning emotions.

"How careless of you Nephrite," came an even deeper voice. My breath caught and I couldn't help the anguished squeak that left me when he appeared. It was loud, even his eyes focused on me. He didn't look amused, but he did tilt his head a little, eyeing me closely.

Zoisite appeared, followed by Jadeite and my fan-girl heart was going to be the death of me. This was no time to be freaking out!

"K-Kunzite, Zoisite, Jadeite, N-Nephrite...you guys..." I said, I started strong, I was going to tell them something, I had to! "Don't listen to Beryl, she's brainwashed you. Everything she's said is a lie! If you don't stop, she'll kill you!" I said, forcing myself to square my shoulders. Kunzite looked angry but Zoicite looked entirely taken aback even as the others matched Kunzite's frown. The whitenette in the cape shouted back at me,

"I won't listen to your lies, we will get the legendary silver crystal at any cost, and we will make you and the world obey our great ruler."

I didn't want them to die, but even if they did believe me, the queen would kill them anyway I realized. Was there any way to save them? I felt so helpless.

"We wont let that happen!" cried Luna, giving me an odd look.

"Hm," chuckled the handsome whitenette "stop us if you can."

They all disappeared. Ami, Rei and Luna all turned to me, Luna's expression was one of frustration, Rei looked suspicious, Ami just looked curious. I wanted to explain, but the princess at our feet began to stir.

"What was I doing? where are my glasses?" Without her glasses, she was beautiful, but I couldn't focus.

"Lets go!" called Luna, realizing the princess couldn't see us.

"We need to talk," threatened Rei as we ran.

"I wonder if Umino looks like that without his glasses," asked Ami, apparently, she hadn't heard Rei just then. I hung back, almost forcing Rei to answer Ami's words.

"No way," said Rei, "if he's that dork you showed me on your phone, then there's really no way."

Ami chuckled, I let them run ahead pausing at a bench outside the ballroom again.

I sank down, crossed my arms and hid my face. Not bothering to change back, I could think more clearly like this.

What was my problem? Was it Naru's Shojo manga that had me all emotional? I'd been fine until he came. Was I upset because I thought I was supposed to feel something I didn't? Or was it because I was afraid to feel something? Maybe I knew it wasn't real, or doubted it was real, how could I just accept his feelings when I wasn't really Usagi? And besides that, after what I'd been through barely a month ago, I couldn't just go falling for someone. He didn't even know me, or Usagi...but really, he didn't know me at all.

I felt a caress against my cheek. It was him. I pretended to be asleep, he couldn't see me in this messed up mood. Not like this. Not till I knew what to say to him. I felt his body draw nearer as he knelt over me, moving in, turning me to face him. I tensed, but still tried to look asleep. I could scream and push him away, but...but...I didn't want to...

The warmth of his body drew nearer and nearer until I could smell his sweet breath again, his cologne that smelled of musk and moonlight. And finally...the soft petal touch of his lips pressing to mine. It was new, sweet and...kind. A kiss I hadn't experienced in far too long. And also one I couldn't respond to if I was pretending to be asleep. I held back a noise that gathered in my throat and squeezed my eyes tighter shut. A tear escaped in a warm trail down the side of my face. I hoped he wouldn't notice.

"Get away from her!" shouted a furious Luna, "We know who you are, and I don't like the effect you have on her. Sailor Moon says we can trust you, but I don't. Not when you make her cry!"

I wished I could open my eyes and see his expression, was he looking at me?

"Are you on our side, or our enemy?" she asked firmly.

"Who knows? If we are both seeking the same thing, I might be your enemy." He answered. I felt him pull away. There was a moment, just long enough for his body heat to fade before I felt something cold hit my cheek. Then my arm, and another on my thigh. I blinked slowly opening my eyes to the silver-blue moonlight all around. It's starting to rain, and the moonlight was waning under the cloud cover.

"Sailor Moon...did he hurt you?" she asked, stepping toward me.

"No," I said, sitting up and feeling my voice trembling, even as my heart warmed and my stomach was once again full of flitting butterflies,"just the opposite." Luna looked at me, I knew she had questions. There was so much to say, maybe I should finally come clean, but not now. I couldn't say anything at all, not if I wanted to. So we listened to the increasing sound of rainfall, the distant sound of the party deep inside the building. Everything seemed far away just then, I lifted my gaze to the brilliant white moon just before the clouds covered it completely.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It was after midnight when I finally went home. Ami and Rei must have left me behind because I didn't see them again. Usagi's parents were already asleep, apparently I hadn't been missed. I didn't release the Sailor Moon form until I was safe on my bed. I curled up into a ball, laying there in my school uniform.

"Usagi, I think it's time you told me what's going on." Said Luna.

I sighed, it would feel good to say it.

"Okay," I sat up, "but I had better have the others around too. Rei won't trust me if I keep this up and I don't want to have to say it more than once, there's too much to explain."

"Fine," she said, "it's late, you should sleep, but we need to know."

I opened the communicator, so I could talk to both of the others,

"Ami, Rei, let's meet at the shrine tomorrow. I have some things to explain..."

Ami didn't reply and there was a long pause before Rei said anything,

"Yes. You do." she said.

I didn't say anything else. I just changed out of my uniform and went to sleep. Luna slept at my feet.

The next day, it was still raining, I almost wanted to stay home sick, but I didn't. Naru caught me at lunch,

"Ne, Usagi, are you feeling okay?" asked Naru.

"I have a lot on my mind," I said, doodling on my homework.

"Boy trouble?" She smiled.

I smiled back, "You could say that."

"Oooh, who is he?"

"Mamorou Chiba, he's a high schooler."

Naru gasped, looking impressed.

"Oh my gosh Usagi! I'm jealous! Tell me everything! How long has this been going on, is he cute?"

I smiled and even managed a laugh, "Naru there's nothing to tell, I swear. I mean I saw him maybe a month ago and he is cute, I think he likes me but I don't know if I feel the same..."

"What? Geez! If a cute high school boy liked me I'd be over the moon!" she exclaimed.

I forgot, we were in middle school. Love was only skin deep at this age, and mature, more adult connections were sort of less focused upon. But for me, it wasn't about just liking someone anymore. Love was about commitment, children, and a lifetime of treating each other with respect and love. I looked at the idea of love from an entirely different place and for a moment, worried that Mamoru's infatuation with Usagi was just as shallow. But then I remembered his love her her transcended lifetimes. He loved her then, now and would for millennia in the future. It made me happy somehow, deep down, his love was really true. So...why was I so apprehensive? There were the butterflies in my stomach again.

"I just...have a lot going on..."

"Lighten up Usagi," Naru chimed with a smile and a wink, "I'm sure it will work out, you should give him a chance. You deserve it!"

Her words hit deeper than she knew, I did deserve it didn't I? Even if I wasn't really Usagi, after what I'd been through, I did deserve a love like his didn't I? But thinking that, and then actually playing the part were completely different, after all, everything about me was a lie...

After school, I met the girls at the shrine, knowing I'd have to confess everything I knew. We sat at the same short table in the tea room, Rei's arms were crossed and she looked very stern. Ami looked concerned and Luna...well, she looked like she wanted to be on my side, but wasn't sure.

"Okay," I took a deep breath, "Here goes..."

I recapped my fight with my boyfriend, missing my daughter, waking up in Usagi's body, finding Luna, and becoming Sailor Moon. Luna confirmed my story,

"And I told her that I'd been tracking her energy for days before that. Nothing has changed. She's still the Usagi Tsukino I was tracking months ago.

"That doesn't make any sense," said Rei.

"I suppose anything is possible," said Ami, "Look at us, I mean, we crossed dimensions into the Dark Kingdom, she could have crossed from somewhere else. It's no so far fetched."

I gave her an appreciative look, glad she was trying to defend me.

"So then what do you know about our enemy? Who is Beryl? Why did you say those things last night?" pressed the shrine maiden.

"I'd like to know that too," said Luna.

"Okay...where I come from, everything about this place, our story that we are living right now is a tv show; Luna knows that. It's the reason I can predict most things and why I know things I shouldn't know. The four men from last night are also not from Earth. They were all once consorts to each sailor guardian, but they have been brainwashed by our enemy Queen Beryl. She is trying to get the Silver Crystal to awaken a great evil. Eventually the Kings will help us, but when they do, she will kill them. They don't deserve to die, none of this is their fault. I want to save them..."

I looked at my hands in my lap and everyone was quiet, trying to take in so much information.

"But there's more," I continued, "this is something really big, really...important. I haven't said anything because I have no way to prove it, and yesterday, Luna said something that means I won't be able to prove it anyway until we find the other two guardians."

"Well?" said Rei, "Spit it out!"

"Go on, Usagi, you can tell us," urged Ami.

All three of them leaned in a little closer and my heart started to race, I just told myself I'd feel better getting it all off my chest.

"I'm...or Usagi is the princess you are looking for, and the Silver Crystal...is in here." I put my hand over the compact at my chest. "It won't appear though, Usagi only becomes Princess Serenity when Tuxedo mask gets hurt by one of the dark kings. And I don't even know if that will work since I'm not really her..."

Luna jumped onto the table and marched right up to me, I prepared myself to get scratched in the face, but instead she spoke,

"You were able to become Sailor Moon, it doesn't matter what memories you have from another world. You are Usagi, you are Sailor Moon, and you've been right about everything else so far so I have no reason to believe you aren't our princess. It makes sense to me as well that the princess would have superior knowledge, mystical knowledge that we can't understand. So...I believe you."

"Princess..." said Ami, looking at me with wonder.

It made my heart flutter a little, I wanted to argue, but I didn't.

"So then, okay, all that's fine and dandy but if you don't think you're Usagi, then who are you?" Asked Rei.

"My actual name is...is..."

I couldn't remember. My actual name from my actual life was a fact i could not find anywhere in my mind. How could I forget my own name?

I grabbed my school bag, "I can't remember now..." I tried to keep the panic out of my voice and hurriedly opened it, relieved to see the blue Mario printed fabric. I pulled my clothes from reality out.

"Luna look at these, could you analyze them? These are the clothes I was wearing when I came to this world.

"What is that?" Rei pointed at Mario.

"He's a character from a video game back home. And...There's this," I pulled my pentacle out from beneath my shirt to show them, "I always wore this, I never take it off. I was also wearing it when I came here. I've been afraid to take it off for fear of going back to my world. I'm...afraid to go back, even though I have a daughter waiting there."

Luna squinted at my necklace. "That same symbol is on your compact, they have to be connected somehow."

I hadn't thought about it...maybe Neo Queen Serenty or Pluto would be the right person to ask about time travel and parallel dimensions. But...I never noticed. Still, I couldn't believe I'd forgotten my own name. Usagi was the only thing in my head.

"I think...something about being in this world, in Usagi's body, living her story has done something to me. I remember I had a daughter, and the name of the town I lived in. I can even speak English, but my name...it's the only thing I can't remember..." But that wasn't right. I tried to remember the name of my abuser, but I couldn't remember that either. Freaking out a little I thought of my daughter and her name popped readily into my head. Oh thank goodness. Her name. I would write it down, I couldn't forget that. Not that. All my other memories, but not her.

"Hm," said Rei.

Luna studied my clothes. "I will look into these, maybe they have a different energy signature, but I think that necklace has more to do with this than these do."

Ami scooted closer to me and reached for it, I let her look, though she had to lean exceptionally close, so much that I could smell her hyacinth shampoo.

"It's good quality jewelry, where did you get it?"

"At the mall in my world, it's nothing special there, though people sometimes mistake you for someone who does black magic when you wear it."

"Well...do you?" asked Rei.

"Do you?" I said, with some attitude, trying to get her to cut back on being so suspicious.

"No!" she answered rather impertinently.

I sighed, "I'm not lying to you Rei, I was worried if I told you guys then it would mess something up, but I guess not. We're all still here and nothing has changed so..."

"I agree," said Luna, "if anything the fact that she knows what she does can help us. But Usagi...maybe you're here for a reason. You should just accept your role here and do your best. We will try to help you, but I'm not sure what we can do."

I nodded.

"So what happens if the real Usagi re-inhabits that body?" asked Rei.

"There's no way to know, as far as I can tell, she is the real Usagi. I don't know how to explain any of this..." said Luna.

"I also need to tell you about the remaining guardians, Makoto Kino is sailor Jupiter. And Sailor V is one of us, she's the leader of the guardians who protect the princess, she is Sailor Venus. We will find her last, but I can't remember the circumstances."

It was very troubling to me how I was forgetting more and more details. What was going on?

We ended the meeting shortly after. I was troubled the entire way home. Though once I got there, I wrote down my daughter's name and put it on the mirror, I would not allow myself to forget that. No matter what.

Another day went by, and another. School, Naru, Umino, Motoki, Ami, Rei, these were becoming like my family. As even more days went by, I found it more difficult to remember my own friends from reality. I started to feel like they had all been a dream. I started to feel like this was reality, and where I'd come from had been the tv show.

It had been raining for days it seemed, monsoon season according to my mom. And I made my way out the door with my red bunny umbrella. As I walked, feeling the cool air, the scent of rain was so calming. It made me feel like my worries weren't so worrisome after all.

Luna walked with me, she seemed less odd around me now, though she asked a lot of questions about the future that I found increasingly difficult to answer.

I stepped onto the crosswalk completely unaware of any danger when suddenly a blur made me look up, I was in the road with a car speeding right at me!

An impact to my side made me call out, but when I landed on the other side of the street with a girl on top of me, I completely stopped.

"Ah!" was all I could say, surprised at how beautiful she was in person. I was so stunned, my heart fluttered and I blushed. Those rose ear rings, that ponytail. It could only be one girl, she smelled like roses too.

"It's dangerous, be careful." She said cooly, her expression rather blank. My heart was beating fast as she walked away. Luna rushed to my side,

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I swallowed, amazed at how tall the girl had been, "that was her. Juptier."

Luna looked after her, and nodded.

Morning class was uneventful but lunch time meant Naru was ushering me into the hall.

"Usagi I have something really cool to show you! Come on!" she waved me into the hall with our other friend, the long haired girl who I finally learned was named Yumiko. When she had us all gathered, she produced a framed picture.

"See?"

She leaned back against the window proudly while I examined the picture of her in the wedding gown. She really looked beautiful and I almost wished Nephrite would get to see her this way, but then again this was the wrong version of this universe for that... (Owww my ship!)

"You look so pretty!" I complimented, she did look really beautiful in the photo, and when I looked back at her, I was still amazed by the way reality looked here. No pores, just perfect skin everywhere. It was amazing.

"My cousin is getting married soon, but she and her husband couldn't make the fitting so I wore it instead. It was at the bridal shop near the shopping district."

Umino walked by, "I've heard that men who visit the shop go missing. maybe your cousin's husband too..."

"Stop it Umino" scolded Yumiko.

Naru looked perplexed,

"My cousin's wedding is in June so she'll have a happy marriage." She said it as if that were the reason Umino was wrong.

"A June bride!" exclaimed Yumiko, looking dreamy. I smiled. That would be kind of cool. I backed up a little, Yumiko was swaying a lot with her fantasy, so I moved out of her way and backed into someone. I turned to see it was Makoto.

"Ah M-" was all I could say, she just looked at me and kept going. I stared after her.

"She looks really intense," said Yumiko.

We watched her get scolded for not wearing our uniform by a teacher and her reply. She really was too tall for it, but it made her really...cool.

"She's a new transfer student in class 6," said Umino, "I heard she has super human strength, apparently she got kicked out of her last school for getting in a fight with another student."

"She does look a little scary," said Yumiko.

"That's not it," I said, "she had a bad experience with a guy."

"Hm? Do you know her Usagi?" asked Naru.

"You could say that. I'm gonna go cheer her up, see you guys."

Naru smiled at me, before Yamiko went back to spazzing over her picture. I followed Mako out to the schoolyard by the sports area. She pulled out a cute little green bento. I could hear others whispering about her behind her back.

I peeked over the bench behind her, trying my hardest to act cool.

"Hey," I tried to say it in my coolest voice.

Just then her fist flew less than an inch from my nose, I squeaked, cool act totally ruined and fell back on my rump.

She'd caught a baseball that has almost hit my face and chucked it back with the strength of a super saiyan.

"Hey you're the girl from this morning, you shouldn't space out." She said.

"I-I'm not spacing..." I said, I got up to sit beside her, heart beating faster. What was this? A girl crush? Agh! What do I do?

I blinked a few times and then shot her my brightest smile,

"Ah so...uh, that looks really good!"

"Hm? This?" she gestured with her chopsticks to her fancy rice balls. I nodded and she offered me one.

I nibbled it, but then had to take a bigger bite,

"This is really good!" I said.

"It's really easy to make." she replied.

"I can only make plain ones, or stuffed ones, if I try to make it like this, they just fall apart..." I said, recalling my attempts at cooking fancy onigiri back home.

"Really? Just steam the rice a little longer, it makes it really sticky,"

"You'll have to show me," I said, getting the distinct feeling in my gut that line was flirtatious, but I mentally kicked myself, "your whole bento looks so cute, did you make the bag yourself?"

"Yeah actually, I did, how could you tell?" she asked, showing it to me. I took it to feel the fabric,

"It just looks like it suits you really well, like...it was made just for you if that makes sense."

She laughed a little, "It's not that fancy,"

I bit my lip for a second and tried another route, "Your ear rings are pretty too,"

"Ah, thank you," she touched them lightly, but then I saw her startle suddenly and look at me. I knew she had seen the vision.

I swallowed, should I drop the friendly persona and tell her about the senshi now? I didn't have time to say anything,

"Hey so...I'm living by myself can you tell me about this town? Apparently everyone's afraid of me and wont talk to me."

I laughed, "There's a rumor going around that you got kicked out of your old school for beating someone up or getting in a fight, but don't worry I know that's not what it was. You're way too smart and cool for that."

She blushed a bit.

"So, ask me anything, I mean, I don't know my way around that well, but what do you want to know?" I asked, deciding to keep up the act. She'd find out soon enough.

"Well I want to know where to find an affordable supermarket a nice general store and an arcade."

"Wow, you really are living alone?"

"Yeah actually, I have an apartment."

"That's so cool! You're so mature!" I felt myself lean toward her, looking impressed, she shied back a little, chuckling. "Actually though," I said, sitting back, "I don't know about the stores, but I do know where the arcade is, we could check it out after school. -Ah, I'm Usagi by the way."

"Oh! Right, I'm Makoto."

I had to physically restrain myself from saying 'I know.' but I managed. I smiled at her.

At the arcade I felt compelled to lean forward a little too close over her shoulder while she rocked the Sailor V game,

"Wow you're really good!"

"This is just like a real fight," she said, and I was dazed by her knowing tone, "attract the enemy first and then catch him off guard then use a special move to defeat him in a single blow!"

Boom! The enemy was defeated, I squealed and clapped.

"Usagi chan, you're already here?" came Ami's voice. She looked very sternly at Makoto; was she...was she feeling protective of me? Jealous maybe?

"She's a transfer student from class six," I said.

"My name is Makoto Kino," answered the brunette.

"My name is Ami Mizuno; I'm in class 5."

"Nice to meet you," replied Ami, tension fading.

"Nice to meet you too," answered Mako, I blinked at all the formalities.

Suddenly a male voice broke though all the introductory weirdness, "All of your friends are so pretty Usagi-chan," it was Motoki, and for some reason that made me really self conscious, I couldn't answer, I just blushed. He didn't seem t notice,

"Nice to meet you," he said, nodding to Mako

"Senpai?" I heard her say softly, looking a little star struck, "Oh, its nothing," she smiled, seeing the way I was staring at her. All of the sudden a sad burst of music from the game, and the words "Game Over" displayed on screen.

"My name is Motoki Furuhata, I work here part time."

I was suddenly compelled to know, Usagi called him Onii-san in the show, it meant brother. Which made me feel all kinds of weird feelings. No way I could call him that. Incest much? Okay not really, but still, there was no way. Still I felt a little playful and had to ask,

"Hey what do your friends usually call you?" I asked him.

"People call me Furu-chan at my university," he answered, and my fujoshi brain went nuts. That. Was so adorable. He would totally be the uke. I blinked several times, getting the yaoi out of my head and spoke again,

"Then Makoto-san is Mako-chan," I said, finding a cool way to switch from formal to informal with her.

"No ones ever called me that before," she blushed, which made me blush again. Gah! I felt so girly!

"Usagi-chan you're really amazing, you can become friends with anyone." said Ami. I bit my lip and smiled at her, still red, all these feelings. What was wrong with me?

"Oh, I just heard a weird rumor from a customer," said Motoki, changing the subject and thus helping my blush disappear. He brought up the bridal shop, which was our next stop.

"So this is the bridal shop he was talking about," said Ami as we came upon the large fancy storefront.

"Naru was talking about this place too," I said, looking at the mannequin that I knew would be my enemy tonight. I smelled roses and saw Makoto was beside me, making me tense a little, but I didn't move away. She was looking at the mannequin too.

"It's so beautiful brides are so pretty," she said, sounding a bit dreamy.

"Y-you'd look good in this dress," I stammered, heat in my ears. I so could not even deal with this.

"I agree you're tall, so the dress would suit you." chimed Ami.

"You think so?" she answered.

"I'd like to wear one of these someday..." I said, touching the glass. I wasn't sure if I believed myself. It would be nice to feel beautiful in a wedding dress, but...only if I was walking down the isle to someone I loved. Not someone I was too afraid to say goodbye too.

"Do you?" said Ami, "I think a pure white kimono would be nice too."

"Really? That's so traditional, I think it would look better on you," I replied. Ami touched her cheek and smiled, pink dusting her cheeks. I smiled too.

"What about you Mako?"

"Me? I guess I'd wear whatever one my husband likes best..." she answered.

I felt a little unhappy with her statement. Sure it was cute but...after what I'd been through, I didn't ever want to base any choice I ever made again to be based on the feelings of another. Never would I do, or wear, or be or not be something just because of my partner. I bit my tongue, that was a little too heavy to even try to voice.

"That's so cute!" said Ami.

I sighed,

"Hey this is that cursed bridal shop," said a passersby, "the one with the ghost bride."

"They say that that a mannequin walks at night and seduces men." replied another stranger.

"Creepy," I heard someone say. My heart sank slightly. Nephrite...

After that we left for the shrine, dragging a very distant seeming Mako along where we found Rei at the gate feeding her familiars, the crows.

"Rei!" I waved at her and told her about the bridal shop, I look at Luna knowingly. She looked back and between the three of us, we all silently knew what this meant...except Mako.

"I don't trust men" said Rei, crossing her arms and carrying conversation as usual, probably for Mako's benefit. "What kind of idiot gets seduced by a ghost anyway?"

"I'm going home, see you guys," said Mako sounding listless.

"So that was her..." said Rei, watching her walk away.

"It won't be long now before we're all together," said Luna jumping onto her shoulder. We looked over at the sound of crying.

A woman was praying at the shrine to have her husband returned, her mother was comforting her.

"Motoki is next," I said, "But...don't do anything yet. He'll be okay. I want to...try something."

"What do you mean don't do anything?" Said Rei.

"I mean, let it be, trust me Rei." I looked into her violet eyes with my glistening blue. She glowered back for a moment, but then her gaze softened.

"Dummy," she said, smiling.

I went home with determination and changed into my pajamas. I remembered Neprite was out tonight, somewhere. I'd have to find him. I paced my room for hours. How to find him how could I sense him. I needed to...do something to stop this. Eventually I flopped onto my bed, face in my pillow. It wasn't the mannequin, he was somewhere nearby, controlling it. I'd have to find him.

A presence at my window made me look up and there he was, Tuxedo Mask, the sound of my heartbeat filled my ears and heat rushed to my face. He held out his hand to me and I took it. It was warm through his gloves. I felt a little dizzy. He whisked me out of the window, I was so caught up in his heat that I forgot to say anything to Luna.

We were silent, I just followed him. Should I take the opprotunity to talk to him now? I wondered. No, there was too much at stake. He led me around a corner where it was dark, save for a few street lamps and disappeared. There was Motoki seducing Makoto, possessed by the evil. Rei and Ami appeared with Luna in their bedclothes. My gaze swept up to the ghost bride on the rooftop above.

"Give me more energy! Sacrifice yourself to our great ruler!" said the monster.

"That's no ghost, that's a youma!" Said Rei, "we have to save them!"

I felt a ball in my throat and shouted my magic words. As I transformed, I felt the cooling magic coming from Ami, and the flame coming from Rei, it was rather exhilarating.

But as soon as my feet hit the ground I ran off, past the building and past the youma with Rei shouting after me.

"So you've appeared sailor guardians!" I heard the youma shout.

Shortly thereafter I heard Rei's flaming assault and saw the black petals suddenly raining from the sky. I looked around, where, where? Ah! There!

Upon a nearby rooftop was a transparent black figure. I jumped up and threw myself at him without thinking, wrapping both of my arms around his middle, sending us both to the ground.

He grunted angrily, shimmering into view. "What? How?!" he said, he's voice cutting into my soul, carving a river into my heart.

No, no, no, quit blushing! I told myself, realizing the compromising position I was in, wedged between his legs, cheek at his ribs, face flaming pink. I tried to sit up.

Too late, he noticed.

"So you could see me," He said, stopping me from moving, rather than push me away he grabbed my wrist too hard, grinning and narrowing his eyes, his other arm circling my waist to hold me to him, he was not gentle. "Clever girl. I suppose you'll do."

"N-Nephrite, stop this!" I said, heart thumping against my ribs. He smelled like books and candlelight. He smelled good. Really good.

"Why? You stupid humans are all the same."

"Am I Nephrite? I saw you, can humans do that?"

"Maybe there is more to you, but that will make your energy all the most useful."

"Nephrite snap out of it!" I said, feeling myself start to cry. His grip was hurting me, I didn't know how to save him. "Think about Jupiter. Think about her. You love her. Remember, please remember."

"Love? What a silly notion. You are foolish to believe in love."

"Sailor Moon!"

Suddenly the mannequin was on the roof with Makoto, pinning her to the concrete. Rei and the others appeared at the other end, farther away.

"Sailor Moon!" parroted Mercury,

"Sailor Moon?" asked Mars, shocked at my position.

"You let her go!" said Mercury.

"No!" I glanced over my shoulder, "I'm sorry Juptier!" She looked wide eyed and confused.

I looked up and crashed my lips against Nephrite's. Hoping it would work. Wishing it was Mako doing this, surely her kiss would wake him up, snap him out of the evil spell, somehow deep down I hoped mine would work anyway. It lit me on fire from my head down to the tips of my toes. It lasted a second too long. I was terrified, and hopeful, everyone around me was in total shock. I knew that Tuxedo Mask might even be watching, which made something tighten inexplicably in my belly.

That one second in which it felt like Nephrite hesitated, I tried to mentally show him his love with Jupiter, his past, the spell, his friends. And, Tuxedo Mask, Prince Endymion. He had to remember, just had to, I didn't want him to die. I could protect him. I just knew I could. I wanted to protect them all so badly.

All at once it was over, he shoved me rather violently away, which sent me flying into the mannequin and then to the ground beside Makoto

He stood up, looking at me with stunned shock. Had it worked? I blinked, mouth open, I was breathing a little to hard, but I was also very frightened.

He grit his teeth and held his hand out toward me. I had only a second to try to scream before green electricity gripped me, stealing my breath. My body wracked against the ground with convulsions. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't see anything.

But Nephrite's deep voice boomed through my core as if it was inside of me.

"Stupid girl!"

I couldn't do anything. Just melt into the blinding pain.

All of the sudden it stopped, someone was in between myself and him but my vision was swimming. I thought I saw a pair of green heeled boots.

I couldn't hear her, just look with blurred vision at Nephrite.

"Nuh.." I said weakly, trying to tell her not to attack him.

She shouted something and pink petals filled he air, I tried to get up, to reach for him. He looked at her, but then to me, meeting my eyes with a quiet rage.

"What the hell is this? I cant move!" he said, my hearing was returning, but my body refused to obey. Get up, I willed myself, protect him...

My head was spinning, my stomach suddenly churned with an awful and familiar feeling of rising bile.

"Duh- Don't!" I cried, but it was too late,

"My guardian star Jupiter, let the storm rage on! Let the lightening strike!" She called as electricity arched from her tiara down one strong fist and down to the other, she directed it at the mannequin who then vaporized. I wanted to be impressed, but instead I felt helpless.

Nephrite shot another look at me that burned right through me like a white hot knife and he vanished. I couldn't help it, the knot in my throat rose up and exploded into tears. I put my face into my arms and cried against the concrete.

I felt so lost. But maybe, just maybe I'd made some kind of difference in him. Maybe...maybe he remembered a little and was just shocked.

"Sailor Moon are you okay?" Mercury rushed to my side, Jupiter spun around and dropped to her knee as Mars and Luna rushed over as well.

"What the heck was that kiss about?" Asked Mars.

I tried to explain, but all that came out was another sob.

"It's okay Usagi, we'll take you home." Said Mercury, dropping the special name and putting her hand on my back.

"Right we don't have time to cry over guys." said Mars, rather snide.

All of us went to my house, still transformed. When I was well enough to speak...

"...I was hoping he would remember," I breathed in shakily, still teary, "who he was if I did that, but I don't know if it worked. I don't want him to die..." God I was so emotional! I wanted to cry all over again. "He was Makoto's...Jupiter's lover once. If anything would work it might be her kiss but...Beryl will kill him. I have to prevent that."

"We will," said Mars, putting her hand on mine. Somehow I felt overwhelmingly tired.

"That guy? He was my...what?" asked Mako, I nodded.

The girls stayed and talked some more, filling Mako in on my situation. I thought I heard Mako tell them about her senpai.

"You're one of us Mako," someone said.

"Yes, you are the guardian of thunder and courage, Sailor Juptier." said Mercury.

"Yes, that's it," said Mako, "I have to carry out my mission."

Suddenly my room lit up with radiant light. A scepter appeared beneath Luna's paw.

"Now that there are four guardians, Sailor Moon, you will become our leader, protect us, protect the crystal."

"I'll do my best," I smiled and then the whole world disappeared behind a black haze and I passed out.


	6. Chapter 6

It was a fitful sleep, I kept feeling Nephrite all around me. His too firm grip, his arms like stone. That scent of endless pages and dusty libraries filled with flickering soft light. Long dark hair that spilled around me like a cage I'd never escape. I heard his heart, loud and strong and then green electricity, his scowl. I shot up in bed with a scream.

The other girls all stirred on the floor nearby.

"Usagi, are you okay?" Ami was immediately at my side, sleepy eyed.

"It was just a nightmare..." I touched my forehead.

The new weapon Luna gave me was beside me, I looked at it, then my friends.

"What are you all doing here?"

"We decided to stay and watch over you," said Rei, it made me blush.

"I-I'd have been okay..." I said, looking at my wrist to see Nephrite's tight grip hadn't even caused the slightest bruise.

"You don't seem okay," said the raven haired girl. She sat on my bed and looked down at me, "we're in this together, remember?"

A few days later I wasn't much better. I started having the dreams about Endemyion but Nephrite was always there. I'd be reaching for Mamouru from the balcony overlooking the battlefield and he'd appear, gripping me from behind and pulling me into the darkness, and it always ended with that green electricity. It was terrible.

I met with Ami and Mako one morning,

"You look terrible Usagi, still having those nightmares?" Ami said, feeling my forehead. I shyly looked to the ground under her touch,

"Y-yeah."

"Has Luna found anything out about the clothes you had her analyze?" Asked Mako.

"She hasn't said anything to me either way, I don't know." I said walking around a corner when I collided with somone and fell to the ground.

I just gasped, Ami asked if I was okay but I looked up, my hear skipped a beat.

"Jeez, you should pay more attention where you walk, Bun-head." His voice was gentle, like he was tired too.

"You're just making excuses to bump into me," I said. He held out his hand to me. I took it, making eye contact, which made me blush fiercly as I stood. And I realized we were standing very close. I took a slow step back, so as not to look too star stuck in front of my friends.

He smiled a little, "Be careful," He turned and left.

"Who's he?" asked Mako.

"Mamoru Chiba," I said, "Tuxedo Mask."

"The guy who helped us the other night?" Asked Mako.

"Yeah, but he doesn't know that I know it's him...but there's no mistake."

"Usagi, you're blushing- Oh I get it!" She poked me in the ribs, "You like him!" it turned into a tickling assault,

"Aah! Sta-ahaha no! It's," I protested, squirming away from her-or trying to, she was pretty strong, "Stop! Hahaha, no it's not like hahaha that!"

"You sure?" she teased, fingers moving along my ribs.

I tried to push away from her planting both my hands on her collarbone area and shoving, but she was definitely stronger than me, easily twisting me into more tickles.

"Admit it!" she said, I could hear the grin in her voice as I wiggled against her grip.

"Hahaha nooo!" I cried.

She giggled and let me go finally, I panted to catch my breath, unable to keep from smiling at her. She wasn't blushing, but I knew I was, my whole body was hot from her assault. I fixed my shirt and sighed, pulling a pigtail over my shoulder and playing with the locks. She looked at me an extra second and I swallowed.

"Usagi-chan, Mako-chan! Look," said Ami

And there he was on the news playing on the jumbo tron on the building across the street. Tuxedo Mask. Ah, the announcement about the silver crystal. Damn. I'd been so distracted lately I hadn't thought to tell him anything, but really, I hadn't had the chance. Last time I'd seen him I was too busy thinking about Nephrite...

Everyone at school was talking about it when I got there. And the news continued talking about it throughout the day.

That night, we met in the arcade,

"At this rate it'll cause a panic," said Rei.

I worried. Nephrite was so angry with me. I had changed the story, what was going to happen?

"I have the crystal, no one will find it but. I am worried." I said,

"So am I," said Luna, "When you were on the roof, do you think he suspected anything?"

"I don't think so," I said, holding a fist to my mouth, subconciously touching my lips. His hard mouth that had been pressed ever so briefly against mine..."But in the same way that you guys saw the moon kingdom, I worry if he might have seen something too when I did that..."

I expected someone to make a joke, but no one did.

"We have to do something," said Luna, "I never saw this coming."

"I think we should go straight to the enemy and do something about it, where is this Queen Beryl?" Asked Mako.

"In the Dark Kingdom," I answered, "but it's too dangerous for us to go right now, we still need Venus."

"I've been doing a lot of research," said Luna, "there is a great evil that they are trying to awaken. If they succeed it will be disastrous, and with the silver crystal, they could destroy the whole planet."

"Are you telling us to protect such an outrageous thing?" asked Ami.

"Yes. You must. And you must protect Usagi, our princess, a member of the royal family of the Moon Kingdom because that is your destiny. That's why I was sent to awaken you as the Sailor Guardians."

"Princess..."Ami suddenly took my hand, looking worried. Even Rei looked at me a little differently.

"Did you discover anything about my clothes?" I asked, half standing and pulling Ami's hand.

"Actually," Said Luna, looking at me from the window, eclipsing the silver-blue disk that was the moon behind her, "I did, the energy signature on them is indeed different than Usagi. But I can't trace it to anything."

I was relieved. Finally, a shred of proof that I was, or had once been someone else.

"But even so, we can't lose you now. We all might be in danger, I think it may be best to halt research on your origin."

I sat back, and felt all eyes on me, full of concern.

"You may be right..." I said, "I...I have to do all I can to help you." After all, it was impossible to know what was happening in reality, maybe there was a chance that everything was somehow still okay. I glanced around me, everything was still so real, the stool I sat on, Luna's fur, the feeling of Ami's soft hands holding mine. This was real.

"I will continue researching our enemy,"

I looked to the screen and saw the Sailor V avatar talk to me, tell me I could do it. I was startled.

"Sailor V hasn't been active for a while," said Ami, following my gaze.

"Maybe she knows we're around and is watching us," said Mako.

...

The next day, everyone was under the spell, searching for the crystal. Luna directed us to the Arcade, to down below into the secret lab. She went to the console and located Zoicite at the TV station.

"I was underestimating you, Tuxedo Mask. This might be his work too." she said.

Ami was amazed that the tv signals were affecting the minds of the watchers.

"They are only human, we are more, so we're immune." I said, "but Luna, Tuxedo Mask didn't mean for this much to happen." I said, "This is Zoicite's doing."

"One of the men from the ball?" asked Rei,

"Yeah."

"What's wrong Usagi? You look like you've just seen a ghost." Said Mako.

"I'm worried," I said, "I changed the story when I kissed Nephrite..I'm afraid of going in front of them. I don't know what will happen."

"We're here to protect you," said Rei, touching my shoulder.

"What...what if I get you all killed?" I felt the knot rising in my throat and my voice broke.

Suddenly the sent of roses filled my senses and Makoto was hugging me tightly.

"Nothing's going to happen to you Usagi." She looked down at me, prompting me to look up and meet her gaze, though I was blushing brightly. She was soft and strong, I felt secure in her her arms; her face was so close, she was smiling gently at me, "Come on, let's go shall we?"

I felt my eyes glistening, and I nodded.

The fear was good, it made me run faster to the television station.

"Up there," I said, pointing the to woman on the roof, "He's using a glamour, that's him."

"I feel immense evil energy," said Rei. We all made our way to the roof. Were I saw Zoicite notice us and shimmer into his true form. He looked at me it seemed, rather than our group, his mouth turned down at the corners. Gods he was hot too.

"We stopped the signal transmission," said Ami, grinning.

"Let's transform," said Rei.

And they all began. I stood among their shimmering light, staring at Zoicite. My expression wasn't brave or angry or defiant. It was sad. Round wide eyes pleaded silently with him for a moment and then I turned and ran. I jumped down from the roof and just ran.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't face him, those green narrow eyes and high cheekbones. I couldn't really abandon my friends either like I was doing but...I just...I just needed to think!

The farther I ran, the weaker I felt. I was breathing too hard, I was having a panic attack. I dropped by school bag and swayed, my legs giving out. I was going to fall, but then I felt arms around me. He held me as I collapsed to the ground and I sat on his lap.

That smell of moonlight, Tuxedo Mask.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, after several long moments, shifting out from under me so he could stand, "My rash behavior caused this mess."

I felt my strength coming back, "You could have talked to me!" I gasped, leaning toward him on my knees, suddenly angry. "Mamorou, I know about the dreams okay! I know who she is! I have the crystal! It's me Mamorou, you've been dreaming about me!"

He looked stunned behind his mask.

"What?"

I turned from him, holding my head, "I don't know what to do...I'm, I'm Sailor Moon...but I...I don't know who I am anymore."

"I..." He paused, as if considering something, "I know," he said after a pause, "I knew you were Sailor Moon but...now the rest makes sense too." Of course he did, of course he knew. He knelt beside me and touched my shoulders.

Something suddenly clicked in my head and I gathered my resolve. I got up and got my bag, "Mamorou," I said, standing up brave and tall, even though my stomach was a bundle of nerves. "we have something to do tonight. I have someone to protect. I want to show you something."

I took out the compact, "MOON PRISM POWER, MAKE UP!"

I new rush filled me and lifted me up changing me into Sailor Moon. Somewhere in the magic I thought I heard Tuxedo Mask gasp, his lips part and his eyes drink in that which was impossibly possible before him.

As I came down again, I looked at him, looking at me. What did he think of me?

I paused and then, I turned around with my back to him and had to speak. "I don't know if I can do this, but I have to try. The others are...they are...real you know? Powers, personalities, histories, everything, I'm not even the real-" Suddenly his body pressed to mine and he held me tightly to his chest from behind.

"You are real, you're right here. You have a special power to make everyone smile, you opened them up as the realized their destiny as Sailor Guardians. You are the best person to lead them my Princess. Let's go."

He held my hand, breath near my ear. I felt a tingle down my spine and felt lighter, stronger. I felt Luna call me, squeezed his hand back once and started running.

Launching myself onto the roof, I guessed at myself seeing my friends on the ground, Queen Beryl above them in the air. All at once I felt rage, a hot and blinding rage.

"YOU!" I screamed! I ripped off my tiara and threw it at her. She deflected it but I was already jumping to her. I'd claw her face off! I wanted to feel the satisfying crunch of her face under my fist. This horrible, horrible woman, no, this thing, this murderer!

I stopped halfway to her and took out the scepter. A punch wouldn't do, I'd destroy her.

"Moon healing escalation!" I called but just then Zoicite jumped in the way.

My eyes flew wide, rage subsiding into immediate regret. "No!" I screamed again as my healing magic ravaged his body and rendered him unconscious. The others watched with wide eyed wonder and I grunted. Angry, helpless, frustrated. But I turned, realizing I had control over myself in the air. I could fly? I watched Beryl take Zoicite into the black hole with a growing emptiness and rage in my gut and almost followed, but I was sure I would die. Instead I turned back to the city, to rain the cleansing healing over them all.

By the time I had reached the city limits I was exhausted. I felt myself falling from the air like a feather from a bird and Tuxedo Mask was there, the smell of moonlight and musk. He held me bridal style and we walked somewhere in the city. I couldn't do anything, I was drained completely.

I dreamed again, and this time there was no Nephrite. This time it was just him, Endymion. My Prince. And I woke in his bed, inside Mamoru's apartment where I discovered the watch on my lap. I sat up, no longer transformed. How-?

"So you're awake," he said, and I looked to see him casually leaning against the doorframe. My knees instantly shot together and I curled my legs under the blanket blushing heavily. I knew nothing had happened, but...I still remembered that sort of thing from my world. He was looking at me so softly. He was looking at me...with love.

"Mamo-ru," I said, feeling myself getting hotter. No one looked at me like that, not in my world, maybe not ever. It made my body react in a way it hadn't reacted in a long time. Or I guess...maybe this was the first time I was feeling this, at least in this world. I was lost just then, trapped in his dizzying gaze. In a moment that just for a second...I never wanted to escape.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Finally I looked away,

"We're...in your room," I said, burning up. I was in his bed. And heat twisted in my belly; I moved to escape it and noticed his costume on the lounge chair nearby, my bare feet hitting the soft carpet. He'd...taken off my shoes?

"You passed out, last night. Do you remember?"

"I do," I said,

I picked up the mask on the table and approached him with it, even though I knew, had always known it was him, I placed it over his eyes and felt my stomach tighten with wonder and attraction. He looked at me from behind that mask with such softness I trembled. He caught my hands and lowered them,

"You don't have any memories," I said softly. I could still smell his cologne.

"Yes," he said, telling me about his accident as a child. His troubles. "I don't know who I am," he said.

"I can tell you...I...I know you. Your name is Endymion. You were once the Prince of the Kingdom of Earth. I was a princess from the moon, we were lovers lifetimes ago. The silver crystal is in my charge, I am protecting it from falling into the wrong hands. It's my responsibility."

"I see, am I the wrong hands?"

He looked so sad.

"No, but..."I reached for his cheek. "You...you don't need it for what you want. You'll get your memories back soon another way."

He thought for a moment,

"It's so strange. I shouldn't believe any of this, but I trust you. Tell me something," he said, "can you keep this a secret?"

"I...everyone already knows."

He looked stunned, "Was it that obvious?"

"No...I just...I knew before anyone else. I told them right away. It was before...I didn't think I'd really...feel anything for you but...h-here you are."

He suddenly looked at me so warmly I was drawn to him, his eyes so blue, I was drowing in them when he blinked. I watched his dark eyelashes move over those endlessly deep pools. I pulled my hands away and held them to my chest.

"I...I should go," I said, before I did something even more reckless, I wanted to kiss him. All the fear from the ball, feeling like I didn't want to be in love, it was all absent just then. I was so caught up in the moment. I forced myself to turn from him, but his hand gently caught me at the door.

"Usako," he said softly into my hair. I flushed, feeling tingles down my spine again, my face was hot, my heart was pounding. Adding the -ko to my name made me feel especially feminine, it was so personal. So close. Just a name...his name for me. My breathing hitched slightly.

"You almost forgot," he said, and I felt my school bag against my head.

I walked to school wondering if my parents were worried about me. Maybe they just assumed I had stayed over ar Naru's.

"Mamo-chan," I said softly to myself, hugging my bag.

I made it to school. I should tell the others that he knows about me. But Luna distrusted him so much I wasn't sure, even in spite of what I told her.

Ami was researching Sailor V. I was quiet, looking at the pocket watch from Mamrou.

"Hello everyone," it was Umino creepily coming from the bushes are you playing a Sailor V game? Oh come on Sailor Moon is the talk of the town now, everyone is talking about her, I will be the one to catch her."

Everyone tensed,

"Umino are you okay?" asked Ami. He ignored her and crept off creepily.

"He was rather aggressive wasn't he?" Asked Luna, emerging from the bushes behind us. She jumped up on the back of the bench where Ami sat,

"Luna how do we find Sailor V?"

The cat seemed caught off guard, "Ah, I don't know."

"Usagi, can you remember? From your world, how does it happen?"

"It's so strange," I said, "I can't remember, I really cant.."

I tried to think but then I found myself thinking of Mamoru instead. I realized I missed him. Like all the other matters were less important besides just...being close to him. I should tell him, I thought to myself, who I really am. I'll use the pen, I'll show him who I am. And...if he doesn't love me anymore, that's fine but...I'll show him, even if it means I somehow get teleported back into hell. I'll show him...I wished I could tell him my name, my real name, but that was gone now...long gone.

I was spaced out for the rest of the day, I barely paid any attention to the video store, the brainwashing DVDs. I left the arcade in a daze, it was dark but then I heard the zombie like voices of people searching for me. They were everywhere. I ran, Nephrite's face flashing through my mind, breaking my Mamoru stupor.

I was afraid again, I ran down the street. These were all kids from school. I had to help them, around the corner I decided to transform and use the healing wand, and quickly escaped so as to not be seen by them.

Just then there was a hard impact to the ground, like an explosion that sent me hurtling backward. We were in some kind of open area, like a park. No one was around.

"You really do have a special power, you showed yourself, stupid girl." said Zoicite, standing up in the smoke

"Zoicite, please."

In a flash he was behind me, I was yanked to my feet. Holding me with a strong arm around my neck.

"I don't understand you," he hissed into my ear, "Yelling strange things at us about Queen Beryl, how do you even know about her?"

"I'll...tell you everything," I said, trying to breath, clawing at his arm.

"Tell me where the crystal is," his breath was hot and his voice so forceful I thought I even felt a spec of his spit hit my ear. I closed my eyes.

"I will, just listed to me," I gasped, pleading.

All of the sudden we were washed in blue mist. Mercury. Then came Mar's and Jupiter's attacks. He used a barrier that repelled everything, even the mist around us. His grip around my neck tightened.

"Alright, since you're so willing, talk or you'll all die." I felt my vision swimming. I couldn't...I couldn't if he didn't let go.

All at once I was released and fell to my knees coughing violently.

Zoicite stumbled, having just been punched by Tuxedo Mask.

"Curses," he said, holding his cheek, "do you wish for the crystal as well?"

"My wish..." he said, clenching his fist. He didn't finish, just launched himself at Zoicite again, ready to hit him a second time.

But Zoicite held out his hand, a barrier appearing.

"That won't happen again," he said and fired. A bolt of energy cut through the barrier and Tuxedo Mask's shoulder. He was knocked back with a cry of pain.

I was inside the barrier with Zoicite and his gloved hand roughly grabbed my arm the way someone else had...long ago...in another world.

I felt myself sob, he was hurting me.

"He does want the crystal," I said, looking at his blue eyes, "he's been searching for it for so long...but.."

"I wished for the crystal before," he said, holding his wound, "but now my true wish...is you,"

For some reason I wanted to smile but I couldn't, I had to tell him who I really was.

"You're pathetic," Zoicite raised an arm and a huge sharp crystal appeared.

"Zoicite don't!" I said, twisting to hug him stop him somehow, but he pushed me from him, tumbling to the ground,

"I'll kill you first and then take my time looking for the crystal"

"Please, wait-!"

I shut my eyes and could feel death coming for me but it was thwarted. The smashing pain never came. It was Venus, and Artemis. Everyone looked to her figure, stunned as she stood beautifully eclipsed on the rooftop. So that's how she appeared. Saving me.

Just then I felt a weight on my back, it was a knee I realized and the familiar scent of books and candles surrounded me.

"You idiot!" Said Nephrite's purring bass.

Zoicite grit his teeth and Nephrite pulled my arms behind my back.

"Let's go!"

I felt sick, the world was shimmering in black spots. I could make out Tuxedo Mask's face through the clouds.

"Usako!" I heard him shout, but then everything was black.

All at once everything rushed back into view, like bursting through the surface of the water. I cried out loudly,

"Ah!" I was crying, his weight hurt on my back, but he got up quickly, still holding my arms.

He glowered over my head at Zoicite who glowered back.

"So? We've got her. What are you going to do about it?"

"We should take her to Beryl," he answered, "but I want to talk to her."

Zoicite crossed his arms.

"Tch," and he left us. A large ornate door shut behind him.

Nephrite suddenly turned and pushed me, no, threw me away, down onto what seemed to be a pointless mess of over sized pillows. I couldn't even see the ceiling here, the dim room simply seemed to extend upward into blackness. Trailing off color curtains hung down immense pillars onto the cold stone floor.

I stared at him terrified. He glanced at me and then paced this way and turned without looking at me to walk the other way. Long dark hair flowing down and back over his shoulders, shining somehow in the light that came from the small braziers around the room.

I tried to sit up,

"Neph-"

"Shut up," he said, looking at me. He stopped his pacing and his eyes pierced my soul. He stormed toward me, boots stepping against the stone floor with purpose and he grabbed my chin looking right at me. He leaned in close, so close, I could smell his scent again.

"Nnnh," I made a sound, gritting my teeth.

"Why?" He growled.

My wince changed and I felt my eyes open wide. He filled up my vision his face was so close.

"I can't stop thinking about you."

"What?" I breathed. No, that was wrong, this whole thing was wrong. Sailor Moon never got kidnapped by Nephrite! And further more, he loved Jupiter, not me. But maybe I was jumping to conclusions.

He shoved my chin away and then seemed to think better of it, climbing over me and pinning my arms.

"You did something to me on the roof, what was it? You ramble on about love..." his eyes swept my face, felt a cold sweat begin to coat my skin. I was very aware of my skirt's not so modest length, and the placement of his knees against the outer sides of my thighs. He came close and captured my mouth.

"Mnh!" I squeaked, trying to resist but unable to do anything. I should have tried to think about Jupiter and the others, but all I could think about was his scent, his strength. His heat. How insanely hot he was. I didn't even think to squirm after the initial jump. I was tense all over but...my body was disobediently responding to the kiss. growing hotter. What was I supposed to do?

He broke the kiss, I realized my eyes had been closed. They slid open halfway and I felt a heavy breath leave me.

He was looking at me, his mouth drew into a tight line, he was thinking, but the way his eyebrows knit together over such a sharp gaze told me he was frustrated.

"Nothing," he said.

"I...I ha-have..."

"This?" he said, releasing one of my arms to pull the compact at my chest.

"Don't!" I grabbed the offending arm with my free hand,

"P-please Nephrite," I was still breathless, "Let me talk to you."

His eyes looked at me and something in his expression flickered. My chest was heaving and his hair fell from his shoulder, draping around us like a curtain.

"Then talk. Fast." His voice was a growl again and I shuddered.

"Do you...did you remember?"

He all but hissed, "No questions, explain to me why I can't get you out of my head. Why I'm questioning Beryl." His hand tightened around my compact and he pulled, it didn't give, but rather he pulled my whole body up from the pillows toward him. "What did you do?"

I felt myself starting to cry.

"Y-you're going to die. Beryl has brainwashed you. Long ago you were knights, you protected Prince Endymion of the Earth. Each of you courted the Sailor Guardians. Jupiter was your...girlfriend I suppose. I- I wanted you to remember. Eventually, you'll all remember and then Beryl will kill you. You know she's trying to awaken Metalia. We can't let that happen. But even still. I...I can't let you die."

His mouth opened, then closed, he squinted at me. I let out another too hard breath. This close, I could hear him breathing, feel his breath on my face. He was always my favorite from the show, I remembered him with Naru, how he died. And I was crying then, I just looked at him through the tears.

"Why are you crying," it wasn't a question. His eyes turned to the side, as if he were ever so slightly ashamed and he released me, getting up. I felt a little sad. He pushed his hair back over his shoulders, smoothing it. I stared at it, unable to stop myself from wanting to touch it.

"I'm not Sailor Moon." I said, rubbing my wrist and sitting up.

"Tch, of course you are, what do you take me for?"

I couldn't help it I got up and went to him, I took his wrist. He tensed and turned to me, ready to fight.

"Look at me Nephrite." I pulled out the transformation pen. I needed to show this to everyone, but...but maybe...

"Turn me into my true self." I said.

Magic washed over me and I swooned, unable to hold myself up. As if on reflex Nephrite caught me and i felt the taughtfirmness of his chest beneath the fabric of his coat.

There I was, I opened my eyes slowly and immediately thought about the feeling of my chest pressed to his, there was still a lot of cushion there from Usagi's breast size. I reached for my hair and pulled a long brown tendril over my shoulder. But...my hair was short in reality, still, I knew that shade. I touched my face and looked up.

"What color are my eyes?" I pleaded, something twisting inside me.

He gaped.

"Tell me!" I said, leaning more into him.

"Th-they're green," he said, still looking stunned.

Could it be? Was I me again? I stepped back, my legs were still long, even as short as I was compared to Nephrite...I looked at my hands, I'd always had a beauty mark on my palm, it was there.

I spun around. I was no longer dressed as sailor moon, but converse sneakers, thigh high black socks, a red mini skirt and a white and black pikachu shirt. Something I might have worn back home, I had a satchel at my side.

"This is me..." I said, "it's me!" I giggled and jumped. Though my outfit was so completely inappropriate for this situation, why hadn't the magic given me jeans?, and my body type was still just like Usagi's but...I was me.

Wait...I pulled up my shirt and looked for my stretch marks. They weren't there.

Oh.

"What is the meaning of this?" Nephrite wasn't angry anymore. He turned his head from me, I blushed heavily and put my shirt down.

"I have a lot to say, now will you listen?"

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, one brown orb looking at me. I pulled at the hem of my skirt, willing it to be longer.

He seemed to notice I was uncomfortable and I thought I saw him smirk.

Sadist.

I stepped forward and tried to decide exactly what I would say to him...

"We had better sit down..."


	8. Chapter 8

I sat down with Nephrite. This was the moment where everything had to change, all the lying, all my frivolous crushing on everyone, getting caught up in emotional moments with Tuxedo Mask, getting all hot and bothered by Nephrite; with my own skin back….well mostly, it was time to stop lying.

Finally, I let it all out, recapping everything. Part of me thought it was incredibly stupid to tell all this to the enemy, what if he used my knowledge to betray me and my friends? This wasn't acting like the TV show anymore, death was truly something that could happen. None of this was scripted. Nephrite seemed to frown deeper and deeper until eventually his expression changed. He raised both his eyebrows and sighed.

"So what's your true name then?"

"I can't remember…I guess I'm just Usagi…but I'm not the real one, I don't know if the real one even exists."

"Unacceptable." He said, getting up.

"Wha-?" I retorted.

"Shinpi…" He said, it meant mystery. "Shinpiko." He repeated it, turning it into a name that meant "Mystery Girl."

"Don't call me that, it's not pretty at all, Usagi is just fine." I said, crossing my arms. He ignored that. "If you are going to survive, you have to pretend to be one of us or you will be killed. After all you've said, and after what I've felt since that night, keeping you alive seems advantageous."

I sat back, "I'm glad you think so." I said sarcastically. I pulled the pen back from my satchel. "Turn me into a Dark Assasin!"

I felt the change and opened my eyes. Nephrite stared. I looked down at myself the black stylized outfit was skin tight, but didn't feel restrictive at all. My nose and mouth were covered with a black silk that also acted as a hood and scarf.

"Much better," Said Nephrite.

"Alright, you've been in here long enough to have had your way," Said Zoicite, coming back in. Nephrite spun with grit teeth as the blonde startled at me.

"Who's that? Where's the girl?"

Nephrite paused, I remembered I'd hit him with my healing wand. Surely…surely something in him had been healed, his memory had to have returned, he was putting up a front.

"This is Shinpiko, an assassin loyal to our Queen Beryl."

I bowed, "Hail to the dark power, Queen Metalia, may she rise again." And as I stood straight, I glared into him knowingly.

He stared back and then shot a venomous glare at Nephrite,

"Shinpiko? You think this is a joke? What are you up to Nephrite?" Zoicite stormed up to me and took my arm, I glared into his eyes.

"Do you remember?" I said softly.

He let me go suddenly, as if my arm burned him and he scowled.

"What are you talking about?"

"The Moon Kingdom, Sailor Mercury, tell me you remember." He looked panicked, then angry.

"How do you know about that?" He seemed further angered, "Who are you?"

"I'm here to help you and the other Kings."

"It's you," He said, "that girl from the ball who said such blasphemous things about Queen Beryl. It's you who tried to kill her, what is this trickery? I'll kill you myself!" He lunged for my neck, strong hands gripping through the fabric and cutting off my air, I couldn't even cough, I kicked and clawed and Nephrite was between us in a second, tearing him off of me.

As I collapsed into a fit of coughing, Nephrite spoke.

"The look on your face tells me you've had the dreams too. Stop pretending Zoicite. The dreams are telling the truth, this girl is telling the truth, Beryl is using us!"

Zoicite looked at him, still angry, then at me. He stared hard, but then his expression softened. He held his head and let out a cry as he fell to his knees as if something pained him greatly. Nephrite bent to comfort him while I rubbed my throat.

"Zoicite, listen. You saw me the moment I became Sailor Moon just hours ago. But I'm not Sailor Moon, I'm from another world all together and somehow I possess all Sailor Moon's power. I am here to try and save you and the others from the fate Beryl has in store for you, and to stop her. Metalia will destroy us all, you know I'm telling the truth."

"I know, but Queen Beryl is too powerful," he said, sounding broken, not showing his face, "We can never escape this, we have no choice but to obey and remain condemned. You can't stop her."

"I have to try, with you two on my side, surely that is helpful, but you can't let Beryl know you've lost your loyalty, you will be killed. I'm sure I can stop her, but not if you go giving yourself up. I still need to unlock the rest of my power. I won't be strong enough until I do. Tell me, what is the next plan?"

"Kunzite," Zoicite said with a shutter, "Kunzite has gone to Beryl and volunteered to go after the senshi. He's probably already gone."

"Then I have to go back as well, I have to protect my friends."

"You are just one girl, how do you expect to do everything yourself?" asked Nephrite.

I blinked at his question.

"I…I just have to. I'm the only one who can."

He stared, I looked back at him.

"It was not part of Beryl's plan to kidnap you. That was me, trying to learn what it was you had done to me. She does not yet know you are here. If we send you back now, she will not know of your presence."

"But Nephrite-!" started Zoicite.

"I will trust you to try to keep your word," Nephrite continued, speaking over Zoitice's protest, "If you prove to be a liar, then this charade will end and I will allow Beryl to carry out her plan…however, you have swayed my loyalty for now. We will do nothing to help you, and obey your wish to appear oblivious to your identity and knowledge of Beryl's plan."

I only nodded. Zoicite wiped his face and stood, looking at me with a guarded expression.

"It all seems so hopeless…do not betray us Shinpiko."

I tensed at the unfamiliar name, but forgot about it as a porthole opened up at the wave of Zoicite's arm. I looked at Nephrite, who nodded at me, and hopped through.

I didn't know where I'd come out, still dressed as the beautiful dark assassin I found myself perched on the rooftop, a green blast telling me I was witnessing the battle between Sailor Venus and Kunzite. I pulled out my communicator.

"Ami, Rei, Minako, Sailor Venus is fighting Kunzite alone. Come to my location now!" There was a rush, each of them talking over each other asking where I had been, if I was okay, and various other inquiries. "There's no time! Sailor Venus needs us!"

I looked up and glared into the battle, "Moon Prism Power, Make up!"

Ah, the transformation was more than the usual, I felt myself becoming Usagi again as well as Sailor Moon.

I leaped out from my hiding place.

"Moon healing escalation!" I directed the healing ray at him, knowing if he felt it, he too would remember and I could save him, but he dodged and hit me with a magic bolt of energy that sent me plummeting.

I heard the collective shouts of my friends who had teleported to the scene, and was plucked out of the air by the familiar scent of moonlight musk.

My heart didn't flutter this time when I saw him, instead I felt thankful, but he was Usagi's lover, not mine, my feelings for him, as real as they might seem, were not mine to feel. Everything was so confusing, but somehow, since transforming into my real self in front of Nephrite, I felt like I was done pretending. I wasn't Usagi anymore, I was me…whatever my name was. And if I had Usagi's power, I was going to do this my way. I was going to write my own story.

"There's no time to explain," I said, looking at him seriously and grabbing his shoulders, "you need to get out of here. Kunzite is dangerous, and I have something I need to do."

I had so much, I had to show myself to him, and to the others. Especially him. I had not yet revealed to him that I wasn't Usagi, that I was wrong for his love. I didn't deserve it, as it was never mine to have. I was pretending…but not anymore. Soon, I'd tell him everything too, he deserved to know.

Selfishly, I decided to kiss him, just once. In that kiss I wanted to say I was sorry, that for once, it was time to be true to myself. I got up and leapt back toward the battle.

All I needed was another clear shot, if I could just hit him with my healing ray, I could help him. He had already turned his sights on the others, I promptly got in the way, I could block it, I was sure, I could shield them. But all at once Tuxedo Mask was in the way. I felt my eyes widen. No. No, no!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

No! My mind spun with so much regret. I should have told him a moment ago, I should have just confessed. I wasn't Usagi, then maybe he wouldn't be doing this, dying for me, protecting me. He was doing this because he loved me, and all I was to him was a lie!

I caught him as he fell, and drifted with him to the rooftop, cradling his head on my lap, crying bitterly. Right as I was making up my mind to give up the game, to tell the truth, to do the right thing….this happened. With shaking hands he reached for me.

"Serenity," he whispered, before going limp. The name stung, that wasn't my name. That wasn't who I was. None of this was me! I wasn't a princess, or a hero, I wasn't any of this!

I stared at his body, still warm, my breath shook,

"That's not my name…"I said, my heart aching at the thought of his death, "It's not my name…" I said, closing my eyes, clenching my fists, determined to remember. "That's not my name!" I screamed, "My name," I yelled, pausing, as something clicked on deep inside my core. "MY NAME IS RIN!" I screamed it as loud as I could and felt my tiara shatter around my head and suddenly the whole world disappeared, as if I was dropped into thick liquid.

We were floating in a ball of energy, I was in Serenity's gown. But I didn't care anymore, the memories of Serenity and Endymion, their beautiful and sad love story, like a fairy tale. He didn't deserve to die, not for me. I was a runaway, a hapless runaway, who couldn't even stand up for herself against a monster, who was living in a fantasy world, leaving her own daughter to whatever fate there was for her because I was too afraid to go back. I wasn't the kind of person that a man like him should die for. It was all too awful, too horrible. Too…real.

I cried out in anguish, and felt the power of the Silver Crystal brighten before me, its power seeping into his body. I didn't even try to stop it. I knew how the story went from here, maybe I could have used the power to run away from this world too, but I couldn't let him die. Not for me.

Beryl appeared and Kunzite renewed his attack, with Beryl assisting. The black energy gripped me like electric barbed wire. Each lance of its power stabbed into me, causing me to shriek in agony, the others jumped to my defense at once, and Tuxedo Mask's body was gone.

"I'll kill you!" I screamed, launching myself at Kunzite and the Queen, only to be held back by Juptier and Mars. "No!, Let me go! Kunzite!" I screamed, tears streaking my face, my voice a primal and heart wrenching cry of hopelessness, anger, regret, sadness. "Let me go! You don't understand, I have to go after them!" I choked on my tears, sobbing as my chest began to spasm at the level of my emotion. "I have to! LET ME GO!" My words dissolved into bitter screams and they were gone.

The others held me as I collapsed in to helpless sobs. This was all my fault.

…

The power returned to Tokyo, as the others carried me to the lab beneath the arcade. I sobbed inconsolably.

"Sailor Moon," said Venus, "No, Princess Serenity,"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" I screamed, hysterically, startling everyone.

Venus frowned, but persisted, "Do you remember?"

Angry, I glared at her, "I've always known! Don't you get it?" I was too upset to remember I hadn't been able to tell her what everyone else already knew. "I know everything! I know about the Silver Millennium, about you, about them, I know about the Dark Kings and Endymion and myself. I know, I know, I know!"

I ripped the pen from my bodice, "Show them, show them my true form!" I cried, and felt myself change, the gown fading in a sparkling mist. My brown hair, my miniskirt, my converse sneakers returning…

"My name is Rin," I said, feeling the red on my cheeks and the tears that streaked them. "I remember now. My name is Rin. I'm 24 years old. I have a daughter. I live with a man I don't love, who controls my entire life. And somehow I got so scared that I disappeared and came here, to become Sailor Moon. To run away from my problems like I always have. And this is the worst one yet. This whole thing was great, a fantasy, a whole god damned selfish adventure. I'm not Sailor Moon, I'm not the Princess, I'm an imposter. And I don't know how to go home. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I just wanted to be loved, to have friends, to…be someone else…and look what I've done…"

I threw myself down into the pillow of the seat nearby, sobbing. Everyone was silent. The girls turned to Artemis, who filled them in on the Silver Millennium.

"This is so sad, whether she's really Usagi or not, it doesn't change the fact that this is happening all over again," said Rei.

"Usa-…Rin-chan," said Ami, I felt her hand on my back. I ignored her, bitterly lost in my emotions.

I felt like I had so much more to explain, but I was so done talking. I was done with everything…but…I was still here, even after remembering my name, as much as this world was supposed to be a fantasy, it was still stubbornly real.

"Give her some time," said Ami, "She needs time…"

"We don't really have that," said Rei.

"Leave her alone," said Ami.

"Please calm down Princess…"said Venus.

"My name is Rin," I repeated again, looking at the crystal in my hands, "I can't believe this appeared to me…even though I'm not really her."

"Your love for Endymion brought it out," she replied.

My love? But…I couldn't love him. Could it have been my sudden resolve to respect myself, to embrace my name and be myself after so much lying? Or was I really….in love with a man who's love I didn't deserve one bit? It hurt my heart. It really hurt. Suddenly my head felt fuzzy, I felt dizzy and tired, my vision began to swim until darkness took me and I collapsed onto the cold laboratory floor.

I don't know how many days passed, filled with endless nightmare, nightmares of Endymion's death, of Beryl, of the others dying. I kept waking up crying. I don't remember how I got home, but I felt too sick for school, too sick to move. I wouldn't even unlock my door for mom. I also refused to change back into Usagi, I kept the pen's transformation. Myself. It wasn't exactly what I looked like…but it was me at least. I stayed in bed, my shoes carelessly thrown on the floor as I'd kicked them off. I curled up sadly.

I was a lie. Just a lie. This whole world was a lie. Where was my daughter? I could just give up and go back to that abusive house. At least there, no one had died for me, a cowardly run away.

I heard commotion downstairs, familiar voices. My…no…Usagi's friends. I got up, stepping over my Rapunzel length tendrils of brown hair and unlocked my door and returned to sit down on the bed.

"We're coming in," they said,

"Okay," I replied.

They opened the door and all gaped at my hair, so endlessly, fantastically long. A short conversation later and they were all brushing, cutting and styling it.

"You look strange without Odango and bangs," said Mako.

"This is what I look like…Usagi is the bun head…" I said, sounding hollow.

"There, there," said Ami, "Look, see? A hime cut in front and pig tails aren't so bad, right?" she showed me a mirror. They had cut my hair to Usagi's length, but my bangs were straight across, with all longer bits that were long enough to reach my cheeks, with a section just in front of my ears that was long enough to reach my chest. The rest of my hair was very long, but pulled into high pigtails, minus Usagi's signature Odango. I'd always wanted this hairstyle, but my real body had a rather stubborn cowlick that made having cute bangs impossible.

"Thank you everyone."

"You hair was growing to reflect your transformation into the Princess. You can't hide who you are with a transformation pen," said Mina.

My heart hurt.

"I am Rin, that's really who I am, I don't understand why this is still happening. …Actually, I don't know why you're all here. I've been lying this whole time."

"Snap out of it Usagi, I mean Rin…whatever," said Rei, "You came clean once we got suspicious. Sure, we had to twist your arm a little, but you told the truth in the end. You're not this giant liar like you keep saying."

"They told me your story while you were captured by Nephrite and Zoicite. It doesn't make any sense to me," Said Mina, "I remember everything from the Silver Millennium. I know it in my heart and soul that you are Princess Serenity, with every fiber of my being. Your hair, the crystal appearing, it all has to be true. I know I'm not wrong. Our memories can't be wrong."

Her words all stung deeply, like I had lost myself in this world and was now too deep to get back out. I was terrified to go back, but, I needed to stop playing games and deal with my reality. I reached back to finally take off my pentacle necklace.

I held my breath as in undid the clasp, but when I opened my eyes, I was still surrounded by everyone.

"Here Luna, analyze my necklace. See if there's anything about it that…" will take me home, I thought, "that will help."

"Rin," said Ami, taking my other hand as Luna took my necklace, "What she's trying to say is, we're all here for you. I know you have this…whole other life that exists somewhere…but right now, you're our friend. Our Sailor Moon. You've been there for us, laughed with us, fought with us. You're our friend. Your name and face don't change your actions. We still believe in you. You're strong."

"Yeah," said Mako, shifting to sit on the bed behind me and hug me, resting her head on my shoulder, "we love you anyway. It's why we all came today. It doesn't matter what your name is or where you came from, you've been our friend anyway."

"I…"Rei started, hesitating slightly, putting her hand on my knee, from her place on the floor, "I know you weren't pretending when you came to me at the shrine and told me I wasn't alone. I can see that you weren't lying to us when you shielded Ami from that blast when I fought Jadeite, and you weren't pretending when you risked your life to save all of us from Kunzite either. You're not a liar. You're our friend; our worthy, precious, friend. Maybe you're not the Princess, but you're here as you for a reason."

"We're here to help you accomplish what you couldn't in the past. Be it Usagi's past, or Rin's." Said Mako.

"We're all prepared to do so," added Mina, touching my opposite shoulder.

I felt myself crying all over again. I held Ami's hand back, and put my hand on Jupiter's arm that was across my chest, everyone leaned in to hug me. I could smell my tears, their unique perfumes, the warmth of their hearts and embraces.

"Thank you all." I cried. I felt so bitterly happy. I was going to be so sad when I did go back to my world, I was really going to miss these girls. Naru crossed my mind then, with so much going on, I'd been ignoring my phone. Surely she was worried about me too, not going to school since the Princess incident. "The crystal hasn't glowed since that night," I said softly, through my tears, "I don't know what to do…"

"Let's go to the moon." Said Luna. The hug around me broke as we all looked up, all eyes on the black cat. "The location of the Dark Kingdom, The Legendary Silver Crystal, our enemy, and possibly even the answers you seek, the keys to all these mysteries may be found there."

"Yes…" I said, standing up and turning to face the silver orb beyond my window, I was strong. And in spite of everything, I'd earned their friendship regardless of my name. I wasn't faking my personality; my feelings for these girls were all real. My feelings about protecting the Kings and even….Endymion...those were real. I couldn't be anyone but myself, even if I looked like someone else. I wasn't going to sit here the way I sat at home and just let terrible things happen and continue to happen. I would find happiness, somewhere between this world and my own. I would find it. "I will never be a tragic Princess again. Let's go to the moon." I said, holding my hands together, everyone beside me. My name was Rin. I was Sailor Moon. And I was going to save their world, and then, if I survived, I'd know I was finally strong enough to save my own.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

There was time the next day to explain what had happened with Nephrite and Zoicite when I'd been kidnapped. It was good we had some allies on the inside. In the end, the girls convinced me to put Usagi's face back on, and I returned to school to a very worried Naru who hugged me and several moments with other students in my home room class, welcoming me back and congratulating me on my recovery. I didn't really feel recovered. I felt terrible. The girls could understand my name was actually Rin, and I was not Usagi, but how could I tell Naru? She deserved to know too didn't she? It would put her in danger; no one was supposed to know about our true identities as the guardians. And perhaps…Revealing that to Naru, followed by a confession of me being from another world….it was too impossible for her. Perhaps…keeping up the "Usagi" thing for her would be a kindness. She had nothing to do with the rest of my problems, and I could protect her from getting hurt if I kept it that way. It hurt, it hurt a lot. I was so tired of the lies. But because I so cherished her friendship, I let it be.

I invited her to the arcade with all of us after school, and for a moment everything returned to normal. I fell into my role as her friend, forcing myself to forget the rest and cheered her on as she played the Sailor V game.

That night, I stared out my window at the waxing moon, the night air felt and smelled so good. I wanted to go there. I wanted to know. I had so many questions. How did I get home? Why was I here? Where was the real Usagi? Was any of this real? I didn't know if Neo Queen Serenity's hologram would know any of that.

I awoke to a day with no school, everyone was going about their business and dad brought home the Silver Crystal on a chain, just as I'd asked. When he asked if it was from my boyfriend, I paused, clutching it to my chest sadly, wearing a bitter smile.

"Not really…"

That night, I met with the others at the fountain in the plaza of the park. Ami told us the night was perfect. Rei added the meanings of the waning moon, and the waxing moon, and I knew these from my reality. A moon that was waning meant loss of energy, waxing meant rising energy, a new moon was death and darkness, but a full moon, that was hope. It really was a perfect night to go.

"It's the white light that gives us strength," she said.

Luna stepped up to the fountain, using her powers. Mina gave the signal to transform in order to create a barrier that would allow our transport. It was the first time I would become Sailor Moon since that night. I was nervous, and a little hesitant, but I needed this if I was ever going to learn anything. So I stepped into the fountain and said the words; with all my friends beside me it felt wonderful. Trusting in them, to think that after everything, they still wanted to help me, for being me, not for being someone else. We stood in a circle, holding hands. We focused out collective powers on the transport….and we were gone.

We were teleported into space in an instant, sustained by nothing but pure magic to breathe and move about within the shield in dead of space without anything else. Even in the midst of our journey we had to marvel at the size of our beautiful blue planet. Not even I could take it for granted. Becoming a magical girl was one thing, but….seeing something like this, something I'd never get to see in the real world without years of training and schooling and technology, was truly a marvel.

"Look," said Venus, "The moon."

We knew we had to go on.

"It's covered in craters, like Mercury," said my bluenette friend.

"Where are we landing Luna?" Asked Mars.

"Mare Serinitas, it's also known as the Sea of Serenity." She answered.

And soon, we touched down on the surface. What I knew about the moon meant there was no oxygen, even being exposed out here should kill us, but I assumed it was magic that made any of this possible, and left it at that.

"It's dark here, there's no sound at all, its weird." The girls commented.

I noticed the ruins nearby.

"That's the Silver Millenium," said Venus, "Where our Kingdom existed."

We approached, stepping onto an ancient walkway leading further into the long dead, gray walls.

"This used to be our home?" asked Mercury.

"Yes, Moon Castle," said Venus.

"We're here," said Luna, stopping before some kind of pedestal before a massive crystal. "these are the remains of the prayer room where only the Queen was allowed to enter. And this is the crystal tower, the core of Moon Castle.

"A stone sword…" I said, remembering Legends of King Arthur as I looked at the sword, jammed into the pedestal.

"Mercury, Mars, Venus, Jupiter, pull it out," ordered Luna.

"Alright, leave it to me," said Jupiter, pumping herself up for a feat of strength. She struggled, Mars and Mercury came to her aid and the sword slipped up only a little.

"We've almost got it," they said,

"Leave the rest to me," said Venus, fixing her glove. She planted her feet, and pulled with both hands and it came free, followed by living neon blue light.

"That's the Legendary Holy Sword to protect the Princess," came a voice from the light, which settled into the shape of an orb where the sword had just been. "Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Venus, it belongs to all of you." A small figure appeared within the orb. Queen Serenity, "Luna, thank you for guiding them here."

"Queen Serenity," I said, "You were Usagi's mother in a past life."

Venus shot me a look like it was some kind of blasphemy to note myself as someone other than Usagi in front of her.

"My beloved Serenity," she said, as I came to sit before her on my knees, "but it's not you is it?"

I felt the tears at my eyes already,

"No, no it's not. My name is Rin."

The beautiful Queen smiled kindly at me.

"Rin…my Serenity is inside of you. I can see it…and her heart beats with yours. All the choices you have made, she's been with you. Confused and upset at first, but she watches from deep inside you, even now."

I smiled through the tears, shaking my head. I didn't feel anything else inside me. This whole time, I've heard and felt nothing in my head or heart but myself. So…how could that be true? Somehow…the real Usagi was still here, inside this body, even though I was in control?

"Then why am I here?"

"We have little time Rin. The Eternity System that runs through this castle allowed me to preserve my will, though my body has perished. There is much to say and little time left to say it. I sent Luna and Artimis to Earth after putting them in stasis. I've been waiting for this moment for so long. Do you remember, Serenity?"

I had the feeling the departed Queen was speaking to the Serenity inside me, the one that was deep down and dormant, somehow watching everything I was doing. As a mother myself, I understood the way she might want to ignore Rin, some parasite inside the body of her reincarnated daughter and reach out to the girl who was her only child. She reminisced about Serentiy's way of going to Earth, how she loved the wind and the greenery.

I tried to focus on her, Usagi, to contact her within myself and could feel the memories of seeing Endymion. Falling for him back then…this was the same as the night I'd transformed into the princess, witnessing these memories first hand…this wasn't me remembering the tv show, this was happening. I was seeing Serenity's visions. Usagi really was inside of me somewhere….she was affected by all this, just like me. Right. All the more reason for me to find my answers, the real Usagi could have her body back if I could figure out how to get out of the way. But for now, it was still mine.

"Yes…she used to go there, sneaking out behind everyone's backs…just to see him." I said, feeling her love for Endymion as my own and suddenly we were all connected. We could all see the memories, from back then, so long ago.

"We were long lived beings on the moon, or mission was to protect the Legendary Silver Crystal, watch over Earth as it grew and help it improve." Continued the hologram, "But in that year, a disaster occurred. An evil creature invaded earth, trying to make it its own, that being was evil itself. It schemed to control the Silver Crystal, brainwashed the humans and attacked the moon. But the young Prince Endymion kept his sanity and fought to protect the Princess. But he fell while trying to protect you. Overcome with grief, you also…" And I saw the suicide, remembering it as if I had been there. Watching Serenity thrust the sword into herself and collapse…was horrible. So much blood. But the hologram went on.

"With the power of the Legendary Silver Crystal, I finally managed to seal that creature…but in return, all of the Silver Millennium was turned to stone, and the Kingdom of Earth was destroyed, forcing the history of the planet to start all over again. But that demon has awakened, and we need to destroy it completely this time, with the true power of the crystal. Princess, only you can do that."

"But…I'm…" I said,

The hologram shook her beautiful silver head, "Only you can do it."

I bit my lip and sat back a little. There was a lot to consider, was it true? Was Usagi really inside of me, and could I really save the world? For a moment, I thanked my lucky stars I was living in Sailor Moon Crystal, and not the original version of the anime where everyone died anyway.

"Queen, there seems to be something wrong with the crystal," stated Venus, "its contents transferred into the body of Prince Endymion and it has lost its brightness ever since."

She gasped in response, "The contents were drawn inside him?"

I produced the crystal necklace and showed her.

"Rin, that must have happened because of your strong desire to save him. Don't worry, I'm sure he's alive."

"But…look, I…my heart, I can't be in love with him. I haven't told him the truth about me."

"I don't think that means love is impossible, love is the power that fuels the crystal, and your will. Without both, such a thing would not have happened."

I considered this, feeling my stomach tighten, but what about my attraction to Juptier and Nephrite? I guess that's all it was, just attraction. Could it be, that after all this…I really had truly fallen for Mamoru? But…that….I imagined that if I accepted those feelings, it would hurt even more than losing my friends when I finally went home. It would hurt too, if he rejected me for not really being Usagi. Love was just…too scary still. I couldn't deal with the idea, it was too much just then, and pushed it from my mind.

"But Queen, I-"

"Rin, please remember that the power of the crystal replies solely on your heart. Be proud and confident being the Princess and being Sailor Moon, the Guardian of Love and Justice and don't forget that you're also a normal girl. The true meaning behind the reason you are here lies in that." Her image began to flicker. "Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, and Venus, please work together to protect the Princess, no matter who she might be inside." Her silver gaze returned to me, "Please be happy." And she dispersed into nothing.

There was a moment of silence.

"It's almost morning back on earth," said Luna, "Shall we head back?"

I nodded. I had a lot to think about.

We returned to earth to watch the sun rise, and I had a moment to consider just how beautiful life could be. Not just appreciation for the beauty of our planet, but just how beautiful life was without that man from my life before, the freedom, the mystery. These girls beside me, this world, a mockery of reality here, standing on this rooftop with the wind in my hair, it had all taught me something. Selfishness, lying, it didn't solve problems, it created more of them. My daughter was abandoned in some way to the man I had somehow run from into this pseudo-reality. In spite of the abuse to me and my heart, I was capable of falling in love again, even if it was a frightening thought and regardless of the guilt driven into me by that man, friendship with others was possible too. I was stronger than someone who could run away into a fantasy. I was ready to go back…but of all I had learned, I realized I couldn't disappear from this world without setting things right. I had to talk to Mamoru, and before that, I needed to rescue him, and also, do what I'd wanted to do, save the Kings.

As the first breath of sunrise washed over us, I spoke,

"Everyone….Let's find the true meaning of our presence here."

Thank goodness for the weekend, I slept in, but only a little and still woke up refreshed. I wasn't really invested in school the next day, I spent lunch with Naru and that night met up with the girls again in the lab. I had a bad feeling about the Kings I needed to get back to them soon, or else I could never protect them.

"The movement of the Earth's crust has been very active recently; there's also unusual thermal reactions around the North Pole and they're from deep underground. The values have been increasing abnormally over the past few months." Said Luna.

"It may have something to do with the dark Kingdom," added Artemis.

"That's right," I said, "Queen Metalia is there, where Beryl is trying to-" I was cut off as the screens flashed red,

"Look everyone!" said Ami. Tokyo was under attack, and the Kings were there. Within moments it seemed we were already transformed and running to confront them.

"Kunzite!" I shouted, "Nephrite, tell me you're still sane!"

"You're late," said Kunzite.

"Just answer me! Do you have your memories? Or has Beryl brain washed you again?"

He turned his handsome face to Nephrite, who nodded at him and the four kings came to land on the ground before us. The other Sailor Gaurdians all took a fighting stance, but I stepped forward, looking at the brunette.

"Yes, we have our memories and our sanity. It didn't take long for me to convince the others, our memories came back shortly after. We've been careful not to let anything show to Beryl."

"Then why hurt all these people?" asked Mars, distrust evident in her voice.

"They aren't hurt," answered Zoicite, "Just frozen, think of it like being in stasis."

"So what's the plan then? Where's Endymion?" I asked.

"No…is it possible?" Started Venus, stepping toward Kunzite, his gaze softened as he looked at her. I felt a little jealous as she reached for him and he took her hands. "You…remember?"

He looked down at her tenderly and touched her face. "Yes, thanks to Shinpiko, we all remember."

"Shinpiko?" Venus looked over her shoulder at me. I blushed.

"It was the name Nephrite gave me before I remembered my real name."

At that Nephrite seemed to perk up, "Your real name? What is it?"

"It's Rin."

He stepped toward me, an odd look on his face, "Rin…"

"Nephrite?" Said Jupiter suddenly, putting a hand to her chest. "That's right…."

The others all came to their senses, memories of love flooding them. It seemed the girls couldn't help but throw themselves into the arms of their old boyfriends. I stared at them, jealousy twisting in my gut. Nephrite looked at me over Juptier's shoulder and then turned his face into her hair.

"Endymion is still at our headquarters. Beryl has him in a chamber near the main hall." He answered, before he seemed lost in Jupiter's eyes somewhere.

Happy reunion in progress, I grit my teeth and gathered my powers, propelling myself into the air. "Moon Healing Escalation!" I cried, ridding Tokyo of the ice. I didn't have time to feel jealous. After all, I'd just realized I had real feelings for Mamorou, right? Even if Nephrite was my favorite King…this…it wouldn't be right for him to love me.

I drifted back to earth clutching the Silver Crystal wishing that someone out there loved me for being me, someone whose story wasn't already written to love someone I was pretending to be, or who was made to love someone I could never be. I missed reality somehow. Back in my world…I actually had a real chance at making my dreams come true.


	11. Chapter 11

/Hey I know it's been a long time, but FINALLY a new chapter. I wasn't really happy with this one, but I feel I need to finish this story, even if it dragged a bit right here. Just 3 chapters left. Then I owe all of you an explanation for the long silence

So many dreams after that. I dreamed of Mamorou, always chasing him, trying to tell the truth, and kept slipping behind my reach into shadows. I tried not to be so depressed, after all, I had a better grip on who I was and what I was trying to do. One morning in particular, I was awoken by Luna.

"Ah…Luna…I had the same dream again…" I muttered, pulling the pocket watch from beside my pillow closer. It had stopped ticking, just as I knew it would.

"It's okay to be okay Rin," she said, "we will save him, and you'll have your chance to set it all straight."

I smiled a little, petting her, thankful at her use of my real name.

"I am worried about you though," she admitted. I felt the corner of my mouth twitch with a less confident expression. I didn't have anything to say. I was still a little sad about Nephrite, and deeper feelings of loneliness that would only bring me down if I let them.

"Thanks for being worried…but we just have to keep going." I said, telling myself to suck it up and I got out of bed. "I'm going to get ready now." I felt her eyes on my back, but I couldn't look at her.

When I came back with my uniform on, Luna wasn't ready to drop the solemn mood.

"Hey, Rin, you can talk to me about anything. Remember, I'm your partner. Either way."

I knew she meant that whether I was really Usagi or not, she was there for me.

"Yes, I know," I replied, but I knew that talking about how I was depressed about Nephrite loving Jupiter, or Mamorou being meant for Usagi and not me wouldn't help anything. My love story couldn't be written until I returned home; so my feelings would just…have to be on hold. "Thank you…I just feel like my problems don't matter. I have to help with what's happening in this world first." I forced myself to smile at her. She wasn't satisfied, I could tell, but we left to begin making our way to school.

We walked in silence, and I pushed my thoughts to the crystal. To finding Mamorou, saving the Kings, and going home. I wondered that if the crystal's power was controlled by my heart, if it would be strong enough to repel the dark power that would kill the Kings. I hoped it would.

"Alright, then I'll be at the command center," said Luna.

"Okay, let me know if anything comes up. I feel like something big is coming soon." I said.

As I turned and stood in one fluid motion, I bumped into someone, the motion knocking the pocket watch from my pocket. When I picked it up, it began ticking again. My gaze lifted to the figure walking down the sidewalk and my heart broke.

"That…that was him." I said, my voice shaking more than I wanted it to.

Luna was quiet for a moment, like she wanted to question me, but by now knew better.

"I remember now….Queen Beryl has him brainwashed. He's our enemy right now." My mind began to spin, I could transform right now, hit him with the healing wand's power. Maybe it would stop so many awful things from happening. But I was frozen, heart pounding, palms sweating, I just shut my eyes and clutched the tiny clock tightly.

I finished the walk to school with a pit in my stomach that remained all day. That night, we'd all be staying over with Ami, so I went to the corner store to buy snacks. I met up with everyone outside while we walked toward her apartment.

"Don't look so depressed Rin, we're gonna get him back." Said Mina.

"He's already back, I saw him this morning; but he's under Beryl's spell, walking around Tokyo right now probably doing something awful and I could have stopped him, but I didn't do anything…I just couldn't." I stared at the ground.

I could almost feel the other girls looking at each other.

"That's good news isn't it?" offered Mako with a smile, "He's here, he's alive! That means you're going to have your chance to save him!"

I bit my lip, yeah, she was right. I really needed to pull myself together. I shook my head as if to shake off all the negativity I'd been rolling in all day.

"You're right! I'll have another chance!"

The others seemed relieved to see my mood shift, and we soon arrived at the apartment building.

"Hey.." said Mina suddenly, "do I look suspicious? Will security stop me?" She asked, hugging the sword.

I giggled, "No, just tell them it's for a cosplay." My joke earned a few chuckles from the others.

Upstairs, Ami instructed Mina to hit a diamond ring with the sword, specifically the stone itself, and it shattered.

"I'm so sorry! What should I do?!" panicked Mina, sounding like she was about to cry.

Ami looked unfazed, "Don't worry, I expected this to happen. More importantly, look, the diamond is smashed to pieces, even though it's supposed to be the hardest natural stone. Both the sword and the piece of the palace we brought back from the moon are made of an unknown material that is solid an poisonous."

"Poisonous?" Questioned Mina, "But Queen Serenity said it's a Holy Sword."

Ami ignored her question, "Not only this sword, but everything on the Kingdom of the Moon might have been turned to poisonous stone."

"Moon Castle," Mina reminisced, "I remember how it used to shine…the moon shone brighter then too."

"Does that mean the enemy turned our planet into a dead planet?" Asked Mako.

"Could be," she answered.

I fell asleep while they talked. Being depressed was exhausting, and I'd had so much on my mind. I awoke to a room bathed in sunset, and it reminded me of waking up in Mamorou's apartment. My heart ached again, he was out there under an evil spell and I was here, pretending it was fine. I had to do something, I needed to, or I'd just keep beating myself up.

I snuck out, leaving a note for the others. I was fairly sure that I could just use the wand on him and it would solve everything. I wouldn't need backup for that, would I?

I went straight to the arcade, knowing he'd be there with my heart beating wildly. I felt my knees go weak as soon as I spotted him.

"Hey Usagi," greeted my old friend.

"Ah, so you're Usagi." Said Mamorou.

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to talk even though my voice cracked,

"Ah, y-yes."

"So, Usagi, this is my best friend Endo, he just started as a part-timer."

I just frowned. Knowing better. Even so, Mamorou got up, approaching me to introduce himself again as Endo. He touched my hair, and my breath caught.

"You have buns in your hair, just like Sailor Moon." He said, "Is it in style right now?"

I looked into his eyes, unable to speak. The way he smelled made all my words slip from me like water through a sieve

"I heard you're really good at the Sailor V game." He continued. "Will you teach me how to play?"

"I-I'm not really," I answered, swallowing, "but I have other things I can teach you. Things you should know…" I blinked, trying extra hard to not look like I was going to fall apart. "H-here," I smiled, feeling like something inside me cracked a little and I sat in front of one of the games. So what if I was pretending? I felt like a coward but I sat down, and started explaining how the game worked. He leaned closely over my shoulder, and I was so distracted, I kept dying and blushing.

For the next couple days I went to the arcade after school, each time intending to be the time I'd lure him outside and use the wand. But each time I chickened out. Something about being with him, knowing he was under a spell, it was like…like when the teacher wants everyone in class to present their project to the class, but keeps calling on everyone else, delaying before having to do something scary.

"Rin," said Luna, stopping me on the way there, "you can't keep doing this. You know it. We all know it. This is dangerous, he could be planning something."

"I know…"I said, "You're right…I'm..just a coward…" and I ran from her, as well as my feelings. I told myself I was being stupid and stubborn. My turmoil vanished at the sight of Mamorou.

"You are really good at it," he said as I played through another level of the Sailor V game, "you seem to know all about Sailor V."

"You do too, don't you?" I asked, feeling bold, my heart racing again.

"AH, well I wouldn't say that." He replied, "But I did see her once, she's really cool."

"She is," I said, my hands dropping from the game controls, "She's braver than I am." I imagined that if she were me, she might not have been coming to meet a bewitched crush every day without doing anything to break the spell.

"Braver than Sailor Moon?" He said. I looked at him and kind of smiled.

"Yeah," I said, as he leaned down to touch my hair again.

"I wonder where she usually is." He said almost seductively.

"I think…"I was blushing so hard my voice shook, "I think you know."

"Do I?" He said. I couldn't help it, my gaze fell to his lips. He was so close, I was afraid and confused, but also tempted. I hated feeling this way.

"I should go." I finally said, getting up, feeling like I could breathe again when I turned my back to him.

"Usagi, here, your bag." He said, handing it to me, "come back again tomorrow. I want to know more about you. Okay, Usagi-chan?"

I clutched my school bag tightly, "Can…can you call me Rin?" I asked, unable to look at him.

"Rin?" He answered, "Why?"

I turned around. "I just…I think I like that name better, and…I like the way it sounds when you say it."

He chuckled, "Rin huh? Trying to be edgy? You're much cuter as little bunny Usagi-chan."

I smiled again, feeling unhappy and turned once more. "I have to go now," and I ran out the door.

That night I found myself with my face buried in my pillow. I wasn't crying, I was more frustrated. I told myself to get it together and make a move. That's when my communicator went off and we all went running back to the arcade. Mako was in trouble.

With a sinking feeling I realized what had happened as soon as I saw her. I'd waited too long to break the spell on Mamorou.

"Everyone, transform now. Mamorou is here, and he's bewitched Mako!"

They nodded and once more we all changed in an instant, my heart still fluttered from the rush of magic.

"Tuxedo Mask, show yourself right this instant!" I shouted, that's when Mako dove for my chest where the crystal hung around my neck, shining in the light. Rei was quick to push her away and knock her out.

Tuxedo Mask chuckled, with an evil Motoki nearby saying the usual villain-type things as they jumped down from the pillars surrounding the main platform. Venus attacked Tuxedo Mask, while Motoki came at me, lunging for my chest as well and he successfully grabbed it, breaking the chain.

Venus managed to stop him with her Love Me chain, which broke the spell on him and rendered him unconscious, but a rush of dark magic took the crystal from him and carried it toward Tuxedo Mask, who, in spite of the others fighting to retrieve it, held it at last in his hands.

"What are you waiting for Rin?" shouted Luna, "Hurry up and do something!"

"Princess, come with me," he beckoned, holding out his hand.

"If you don't do something, you won't save him. And the real Tuxedo Mask will never know who you really are! You'll never know how he really feels!" She turned, "I know I haven't really been supportive of the you behind Usagi, but I know who you truly love!" She started to run toward him, "I'm your partner!"

She leaped at his throat, but he gripped her and threw her aside with violent force. Too violent for her small form. I screamed, shocked at the image before me, running to cradle her poor little limp body. Then rage filled my heart. At myself for not doing anything sooner, for once again waiting for someone to get hurt before I had the courage to do anything. I glared at him.

The crystal became alive in his hands, fueled by my emotion as I pulled the wand into view.

"Moon Healing Escalation!" I cast the magic over Luna and then again at him. He repelled it and Beryl appeared beside him.

"Well done Tuxedo Mask," she said, "Now that I have the Millennium Crystal. I've no use left for all of you. This will be your grave yard Sailor Guardians!"

"I'll kill you!" I screamed. Seeing the woman woke such a rage in me that I slashed the air with my wand, sending whatever power there was in it at her.

Tuxedo Mask was in the way each time, deflecting each hit.

"What's this?" she mused, smiling, "you're not the weak little girl I remember."

"I'm more powerful than you'll ever be Beryl! You'll never be able to use that crystal. I'm the only one who can," I yelled.

She laughed, "We will see about that. I'm glad you remember me, Princess. I guess you'll be happy to die by Prince Endymion's hand won't you?"

I was shaking with rage as he smiled at me. I found myself growing more angry with each moment. I was ready to end this. It was time to stop moping, stop delaying, and stop mulling about. It was time to put an end to chains holding my heart. It was time to fight.


End file.
